I just want to be alone and reflecting myself

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Lately im on vacation, separate myself from the business and problems outside my house. I closed the books and projects to be done. I stop myself from doing something that will burden my brain. I rest my brain from thinking anything complicated because this year was so intense without resting. I know i did something wrong in this year, didnt accomplish something great and i have to learn more and being more diligent in doing something. I believe we are getting older every minute of our lives. I reflect myself as a person who procrastinate in doing things i supposed to finish. But lately i was being inspired by artists who are hardworking and they achieved their dream..They really achieve break through... while me... i am facing my break down. why i cant achieve greatness as other achieve? Why i am this weak? Am i this person? Why i was like that and not like those successful person? Am I doing right? What is lacking in me that i should overcome? What is my fear? How to combat that fear? And so on. What do you think for this last month of the year 2017? While typing this discussion, Im listening music "Sleepless at Narita" by Ahn Jung jae, a beautiful guitar music.