Unholy matrimony - part 1
By vanny
@vandana7 (98900)
India
January 18, 2018 11:14pm CST
Case 1 - Outcome of arranged marriage
Sometime ago, I came up with a post about my washerwoman getting her under aged girl being married off to a boy. The boy had a step mother, so he had separated out, so there would not be any mother in law harassment which is common out here. The boy also did not have any sister, which has the same benefits of not being troubled. He has a small house which is a positive in Indian arranged marriages. He is very good looking and can converse in English. He had a decent job. What more could parent ask for?
The girl is brilliant, and seemed on track to become good physician when the parents opted to abort her future get her married.
Today, the boy has left his job. He does not allow her to work. Constantly suspects her of having affair with others while he is working, beats her up. They have an extremely cute baby boy, and the girl wanted to defer second pregnancy but the boy wouldn't allow her to use tablets. So she is pregnant again, and now he is demanding additional dowry. He has brought her here to be with parents, but wants to live separately so that there is more privacy for sex.
Reminds me of another educated and qualified man who was only alive for sex, and did not want to work, trying to put a halo around himself saying he did not take any dowry.
Anyway...the boy kidnapped his own son, left for home town, and when parents went to bring the toddler back (2 years old), the man and people around him, used stones on the girl's parents.
A police case was registered. But for reasons best known to them it was closed.
My washerwoman and her husband are uneducated. They can't even read their own language.
I could not prevent underage marriage because
a. I am unmarried, and preventing such marriage would mean inviting comments such as I am jealous.
b. I cannot guarantee she would get better matches.
8 people like this
6 responses
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
19 Jan 18
It's a sad story.I heard of the arrange marriages in India and how often women are being mistreated .Being an Indian woman must be so difficult, growing up to feel like second class human being, and dedicating her life of the idea of getting married 1 day;only to end up becoming the victim of marital abuse,which is often considered a norm in the society.
@vandana7 (98900)
• India
19 Jan 18
@kareemadivina Some families are fine. Many are still steeped in that age old thinking.
3 people like this
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
19 Jan 18
@vandana7 So sad to hear that . I have seen in television about the concentration camps for widowed women but I think it's not that worst.Women have the rights to beautify themselves and eat the best food they can.I hope that Indian women will be liberated from these ideology soon.
4 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (45543)
• India
17 Mar 18
Well till the time the majority of people in our society believe in following the traditions blindly and give preference to couples having sons over daughter, such incidents will keep reoccurring.
And I am sad to say that many women too are responsible for such social situations, especially mothers who don't teach their sons to respect women.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
21 Jan 18
pretty horrible situation for her - hope she can be rescued and allowed to choose her own future and choice of partners in life
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98900)
• India
19 Jan 18
@LadyDuck Tell me about it. The girl was only 16 when they got her married. Her son is two years plus now, and she is carrying. I did tell the washerwoman that the girl was too young and brilliant. But she was happy getting a fair and handsome son in law with good job and some property. Today the guy is demanding more dowry.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
19 Jan 18
Such comments are specifically made to discourage you from butting in which you fell for. 
An anonymous call to the cops would have done the job. A 100 call is bound to keep the caller's identity private.
An anonymous call to the cops would have done the job. A 100 call is bound to keep the caller's identity private.2 people like this
@Daljinder (23233)
• Bangalore, India
19 Jan 18
@vandana7 Ugh! When will the time come when people will put themselves before society? It is a simple concept. People talk, hurl insults until they find their next victim and you are forgotten. Until and unless people keep making decisions like marriage and divorce thinking what people will think? They are doomed to fail. Period.
An arranged marriage, as well as a love marriage, can be successful IF both boy and girl know what they want in their partner and future family and what is good for them in the long run as a couple.
2 people like this
