Do you know the kind of day I have had?
By Joanie
@Freelanzer (10745)
Canada
February 22, 2018 9:16pm CST
Do you know the kind of day I have had?
This is what I feel like saying when people are talking to me about every and anything going on it their life. My problem is that I am a good listener and when a friend calls me with a concern - I listen. Mind you, I may be dying to tell them about the horrible no-god day I have had but I can't get a word in. In any case while spoil their day with my misery.
On one occasion I recall visiting the doctor and coming away with not so good news. It all worked out but at the time I had no way of knowing. Then I met with two friends in quick succession telling me about how bad their day was; things like:
I forgot to pick up eggs at the grocery today
I can't decide what to wear to my friends wedding or if I should even go
I think Bobo my cat has an allergy
Did you remember to pick up that form I asked for?
I do not discount the importance of these things to those friends of mine but I was dying inside. I continue the conversation politely offering support and understanding, hoping I would hear: "So how was your day?" Still waiting.
15 people like this
10 responses
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
Or I just need to get a journal like @toniganzon and listen less.
2 people like this
@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
23 Feb 18
I used to have such friends, but now it is over. Ii realized that I don't want to be the one who always politely listens. I realized that they don't know me, I mean the basics that is evident about me. The reason is that I never had a chance to share anything about me with them.
I have a very bad manner when I have a really bad day or trouble. When people share how bad they day was like and it is similar than your examples, I wait till they finish. Then I answer with my problem which is more serious than having problem at the groceries or with the weather. They usually can't answer and don't want to talk to me more about their grocery troubles. I know that it is not polite, but sometimes I can't handle their problems well.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
I really don't understand that kind of attitude and I think I need to be a little more assertive especially when I have bigger problems.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
23 Feb 18
That's why I have a journal where I could pour out what's going on in my mind. I don't normally tell people what's going on in my life. I usually listen too.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
23 Feb 18
@Freelanzer Sure. There are just people who are so caught up in their own drama in life, they don't have time to listen to others.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
Great idea - the journal. I don't like to tell people what is going on with me either but if I have to listen to you tell me about your day then it would be nice if I can tell you about mine.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
23 Feb 18
Sounds as if you were talking to some very self-involved people.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
I think that some people just think that their problems are all that matters and they never see it in the context of the bigger picture
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
I have to learn the art of interrupting or just stay away when I am not in the mood
3 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Feb 18
I am good now. It helps that I can share with my friends at Mylot
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15833)
• Manchester, England
23 Feb 18
This isn't just happening to you I'm afraid. I think we are becoming more and more selfish and insensitive to the needs of others.
My wife and I have someone in our lives who is very like that. Whenever they call and open the conversation with "How are you?" we know that what they are really saying is "I've had a bad day and I need to tell you and I'm just asking how you are out of politeness and I'm not actually listening to your response but waiting until you pause just long enough to allow me to get in and tell you how crap my day has been".
I'm glad your medical issues worked out OK and i hope you are having a good day today!!! If not, phone up your friends and hit them with your problems. 
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
24 Feb 18
I am sure if I do they will probably find a way to excuse themselves. Thanks I am having a good day.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
23 Feb 18
Oh I know exactly. I'm like you, a good listener. Sometimes I find you must interject your own news. Sometimes it's innocent I think - they just didn't think to ask about you. Othertimes it may signal a need for new friends... :/ I'm happy things worked out
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
24 Feb 18
I agree it is innocent as everyone just see their problem as bigger than others. I don't dwell on it just makes me think
