Why do people handle rejection poorly?

@mydanods (6749)
Nigeria
March 7, 2018 5:29am CST
A friend of mine just got me wondering recently. I asked him after a date he was seeing and he started to nod his head. He said that he doesn’t understand why people handle rejection poorly. I found that there was no connection between us, he told me. Forget her great figure and beautiful face. I had to text her and told her that it had to end. I was even sweet on her, wishing her that she would find a sweet guy after this. Do you know what I received in return? No what? I received a phone call and she was insulting and threatening me. Raining all sorts of abuses on me. It is now pretty obvious that no chemistry existed between us. I couldn’t tell her why she reacted that way. Why do people handle rejection poorly?
8 people like this
11 responses
@Kandae11 (40391)
7 Mar
There is a saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". I think this goes for men as well. I have heard about women smashing the windows of ex lovers cars, burning clothes and stalking - and many women have been murdered by their rejected lover.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Mar
I think there is this inherent belief in us that we are lovable. When that core belief is disturbed, things can go awry
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (40391)
7 Mar
@vandana7 Ha, Ha - you are so right. When I entered the workforce for the first time - young and a bit naive, I was a bit shocked when I heard on the grapevine that a staff member said she didn't like me. Why? I wondered, I thought I was lovable enough - especially with good looks and a bubbling personality.
3 people like this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
@Kandae11 Some people go out of their way to be rude. I hope you have gotten over it.
@Icydoll (23554)
• India
7 Mar
Yeah no one likes rejection...one should move on with accepting truth.but that's too much the way she behaved with your friend.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Mar
I did not find it so objectionable.
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
Correct. No one wants a rejection but when it is the only thing that is possible, one has to accept the fact that the relationship will not work and move on.
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
No one likes to be rejected but I do think that was rather an over reaction on her part. I think your friend was well out of it as she sounds like she has issues.
2 people like this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
That's what I thought. She might have issues. How can you expect someone to accept what he doesn't like. That is what dating is all about. For both persons to understand if the relationship will work.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (14498)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@mydanods I'm sure she will get over it. If she's very pretty she probably isn't used to rejection.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
@sprite1950 Maybe. I pray she gets over it. It wasn't intended that she responds with insults and threats but that she understands the other side doesn't feel comfortable continuing the relationship and so wants it to end. It could be hard to understand.
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (7558)
• Philippines
7 Mar
I don't like rejections. But as years passed by, I learned to understand their reasons.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Mar
Exactly as years pass on...we realize that it is better to be away at the outset than end up with something that we will live with regrets.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
Exactly. No one likes rejections but as the years pass you see that they must be for the best. No one wants regrets and disappointments after they have made a commitment.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Mar
@mydanods vandana7 most important thing is I learned from it and still learning.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (135763)
• United States
7 Mar
It's a beautiful thing when n two people know they are not a match. They can be civil and maybe good friends. I can't think of any reason unless the person rejecting was rude. In this case he was not.
2 people like this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
He was not. He was trying not to make the lady feel bad. Actually, there were things about her he thought he didn't want in a woman after they had dated. But the woman would not hear of him telling her that the dating and relationship will not work. I wonder who she thought she was!
@sharon6345 (135763)
• United States
7 Mar
@mydanods something she clearly was not.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Mar
I think his way of rejecting her through texting was rather high handed and frankly humiliating. You move on date, find what you like and dislike, and then sit together, and assess compatibility. His attitude on the other hand is like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman movie. Any rejection should come in person so that the person gets fair chance to give his or her side of the story. This was shabby treatment.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
He thought there would be a scene if they had a face-to-face discussion about it. Actually, he thought she has a character which turns him off.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Mar
@mydanods If he thought that, he could still have found a better way to say it...being honest helps. I cannot like people who do not look after elderly or who fight for small small thing or who flirt with so many people. Say it, have a clear scene give her the satisfaction and then walk out. If scene is expected why did he not expect her to call back. Odd.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
@vandana7 She called back. That was when she started insulting and threatening him.
1 person likes this
@just4him (124271)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Mar
People are always hopeful for a good outcome. When rejection comes, it hurts more than a paper cut. You start thinking the worst of yourself, at least I do. I bring walls around me and shut people out. I don't lash out at anyone the way your friend experienced, but I know some people do. They want someone to love them, accept them for who they are, what they do, and when it doesn't happen, it's like the sky fell in on them. They lash out, and then they try harder to find the right connection.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
It's true the way you described it. But after some time, as you came to realize, we decide that it must have been for the best that the relationship doesn't continue. If one party is not satisfied, we can't force that one to accept us. I'd want to know the reasons for a rejection if I was given one in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@just4him (124271)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
7 Mar
@mydanods For me, it's okay I don't know why a relationship failed. Time to move on and do things better for myself.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (7729)
• Portugal
8 Mar
No one likes to be rejected but her attitude showed that your friend took the right decision.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
8 Mar
That's the truth.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
8 Mar
It's all based on insecurity, and her behavior only shows the right decision was made. The only fault I can find is that it wasn't done in person. It's really not fair to refrain from facing a person when you want to break up, but I understand people are changing the way they do things nowadays.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
8 Mar
Some people have even forgotten how to have face-to-face discussions. Anytime they discuss something serious, it's on a messaging app.
@Madshadi (8922)
• Brussels, Belgium
7 Mar
Some people just don’t know how to handle it
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
That is the truth. At first one might think that it is a personal attack on his or her person. But as time goes by, that individual comes to realize that it was to prevent problems in the relationship in the future. Because two people are dating does not mean they are compatible. Rejection should be seen as one of the outcomes of dating.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (57852)
• Philippines
7 Mar
maybe because she is used to being appreciated and praised.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6749)
• Nigeria
7 Mar
Or she wants him to take her like that, even if he doesn't like what he sees.
1 person likes this