April 18, 2018 12:06am CST
For whatever reason lately, I keep thinking about how quickly time goes by. Maybe it started when I went by where my old house used to sit. The house has since been burnt down but the land is still there and there are still these trees we planted when my brother and I were kids. We planted these little baby pine trees when I was about ten. I remember they maybe went up to my knee. We planted several around the yard because we got a bunch for free for Earth day of all of the trees we planted only three survived and are still standing today. My dad took my brother and me around the yard and helped us plant them. Now about 21 years later and they are huge. When I look back I can almost feel like I'm there in the moment and it's this weird feeling. I feel like time passed and I didn't even realize it. When exactly did I turn into an adult? It feels like almost overnight. One minute I'm a kid playing in my yard with my friends and I blinked and I'm graduating high school and I blink again and I'm having my own son and then I blink yet again and my son is finishing up the first grade. When you talk about the future as a kid you picture things differently. You tell yourself you have years to figure stuff out. It seems like so far into the future but it's really not. Sure, ten years feels like so far into the future but it goes by so fast. I remember bringing my son home from the hospital and being excited over each milestone and now I just want it to all slow down but it keeps going. Then you think about all of the loss you go through your life and how much those moments hurt, and it's the only time when life seems to freeze at least for you. It feels like everyone is rushing around you but you are stuck in the same spot numb. I remember that feeling. It's just odd how life works. How it can speed up and slow down almost at the same time. I feel like I need to live every moment in the moment and just take it all in because it's over in an instant. The older I get the more I realize how precious and fleeting life really is. I can't predict the future nor do I really want to. I just want to live in the moment and worry less about planning every detail because plans seldom work the way you would like them to. There's nothing wrong with goals but don't worry about planning every last detail of your life because I can guarantee not all of them will go according to plan. I think that's what I've learned most in life. Just take things as they come and deal with the situation as it presents itself. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a general goal or plan anything at all what I'm saying is be prepared for things to not go your way. Be prepared to live in the moment when you need to. Life is so fleeting and you won't get moments back so you need to cherish the time you have. Much like that tiny tree I planted as a kid I grew and withstood everything trying to squash me down through the years. I took things as they came. I am not saying I have done everything perfectly because I haven't but I keep growing and trying to learn to adapt to the changes life throws me. I live with stress day in and day out but I don't give up even when I have really wanted to. Life does come and go quickly which is why we should grow and learn and make the most of life even when it isn't turning out the way we would like it to. I don't know what I'm meant to do in this life but I know I have done a few things right the main one is creating the most amazing little human. I figure even if all I do with my life is raise an amazing human being then that's enough. I hope for more but even if not at least I made him. Enjoy life now because you'll blink and everything will change. Almost nothing stays the same forever.
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