She Had a Baby and Didn't Tell Me

Glad you have managed to make new friends. I would be pissed off too if old friends contacted me because they wanted something from me. That's just rude.

I'm sorry. People just suck sometimes. There's really no other explanation for it. My childhood best friend is always posting pictures of herself and her family hanging out with her new friends, and it hurts. Like, you moved back to the area, but you never even bothered to get in contact with me to tell me...and you have time to visit your other friends, but it never once even occurred to you to stop by and see me? Whatever, though. You can't force people to value your friendship, sadly. Ugh, I have an online friend who does the same thing...she tells me I'm her best friend, that she doesn't talk to anyone else about certain stuff, that I'm her soul sister...but then I see her saying the same things to other people on her Facebook posts. I mean, you can have more than one best friend, I guess, but the word "best" implies that you value that person above all others. It makes no sense having 20 best friends, like you said. It hurts when I see her saying those things to other people, too, like -- is that just a line she tells everyone?? It sucks that your friend only talks when she has issues or needs a sitter...my friend is the same way (minus needing the sitter.) She will go days or weeks without talking to me, but then when she has some kind of drama or a meltdown, suddenly she needs my attention...and I don't mind, that's what friends are for...but it would be nice to talk when things aren't just crappy. You're supposed to share the good times, and the bad...not just the bad. It is B.S. how people don't take friendships seriously anymore. But maybe those people never did. My childhood best friend was always ditching me for other people, especially in high school...she was embarrassed to be seen in public with me. But when it was the two of us, we got along great. She cared too much about what everyone else thought of her. I should have known then that our friendship wouldn't last forever, but we'd been friends since second grade, and I had hoped she would outgrow the petty high school crap. I guess not, since apparently I'm chopped liver to her...that is if she even thinks of me at all anymore.

@Courtlynn That really sucks. I'm sorry your friend treats you like that. You should be treated like more than a babysitter.

@Srbageldog people do suck, thats why I don't care to get close to anyone anymore. Sorry she never contacted you. My friend, in the second paragraph that has me babysit, does the same takes photos and videos with others but always cancels when we plan to hang out. And I only see her when we get the kids or give them back. It sucks. Especially because unlike you and your friend, we had been really close in and out of school. Would almost always be together and would go on walks to meet at night if one had an issue and needed the other. Etc. But since like 7 years ago, shes been up and down as a friend, and over the last 3 ish years shes gotten to be more of just someone i once knew and now babysit for.

@Srbageldog My mom thinks it was because I was so sick and didn't go out and stuff with her and that I wasn't needy enough. She seems to need to be needed... like had to have your attention, and for you to need things from her. I don't know how to explain it. Yes and I was the type when she called at 2 in the morning crying I would stay up and talk to her, even get up and go to her house. Ohh well.

@Ithink That is too bad. It really is her loss. I'll never understand some people.

I'm sorry. I don't get people. Sometimes they just suck. It's sad when people you only know online are better friends than the ones you know in "real life." Twenty years is such a long time to be friends, to just up and dump you like that! I don't get why people hold no value in long-term friendships. My ex-best friend from childhood was like that, too. I realized I was the only one making any effort to maintain our friendship, and once I stopped...I have not heard from her since.

@Srbageldog This is not what I expect from a real friend.

@LadyDuck This is not what I expect from a real friend, either.

Very true, unfortunately. Anytime they get a new romantic interest, a new job, or move someplace else, suddenly they forget all about their "friends."

It's sad but true. I'm sorry that your friend of 30 years cut you off like that.

@cintol Very true. Who needs friends if they can just dump us so easily? They must not have ever been true friends at all.

@Srbageldog Its ok, it showed me who my real friends were and that maybe she wasn't such a good friend. I am also sorry for what yours did, but we are both better off without them.

Some of my old friends have seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth!

@porwest Maybe they are not on Facebook? I hope you are able to reconnect with your old Navy buddies one day.

@Srbageldog I have found some on Facebook. In fact, was able to reconnect with a lot of people from high school. But interestingly enough I have not found any of my old Navy buddies, and I am even part of a group on Facebook from the ship I was on, the USS Enterprise (CVN-65).

@Srbageldog I was young when my ex and I got together, just a baby really (We were together from the age of 20-24) and I guess I hadn't really developed a self worth. I'm glad he's history, trust me! Yes, you are right, true friendships stand the test of time.

I'm glad that in your case, you reunited with your best friend. Something similar happened to me, with an old childhood friend I hadn't seen in over 20 years. She happened back into my life, and it was like no time had passed at all. I guess that's what true friendship is. Anytime a spouse encourages you to end your friendships, is a red flag. My partner has never asked me to end friendships, but it was around the time I got with him that some of my friendships started falling by the wayside. Sometimes people just get caught up with life. I am glad you are no longer with your ex, sounds like you're better for it. I hope you and your friend remain best friends forever now.

Some of my old friends I don't miss, but I miss having a social life outside of my boyfriend and my family.

That's a good way to look at it!