Why live like that?
May 8, 2018 10:46am CST
Always makes me wonder how people who are so negative and miserable can live like that. Why not change it?. I was talking to a friend who was telling me about her mother. Sounds just like mine. Jealous and unhappy of her life so she starts making fun of her and putting her down. Anything happy happens to her it's a bad thing or she doesn't deserve it. I know what she's going thru as my mother the same way. She's jealous and miserable but won't change her life to be happy. So let's take it out in me. As when I bought my car my mother had nothing but negative things to say. Why? I'm assuming She's jealous because I paid it off in full whereas she couldn't afford her car without my Dad. I talked with my friend as I get what She's is going thru. I said I ignore her because any little thing you says he will make it 10x worse. She's just so miserable she wants company. I don't even talk to my mother unless need be. I found my life is so much more peaceful without her. I know anything I do in life good wise she will be negative and jealous of then things I do bad she will make fun of. So why argue with an idiot?. I do hope my friend cuts her mother off and becomes happy again.
6 people like this
• Toronto, Ontario
Nope, it doesn't. I told her they can put on a good act. Like when my Dad went to the hospital she cried how she can't support herself and She's going to move into one of our places. We all just ignored her because the only one who would allow it is my older brother (he doesn't see how she acts). As soon as my Dad came home she was back to her negative comments firing away. I just learnt ignore her or make a comment to cut her off and shut her down works. I gave examples to my friend and said they are basically the same as your situation. I showed her messages my mother sends me and compared them to what her mother says. I go she will never change am so ignore her. Sad someone needs to live that way and be miserable but why stress.
• United States
Life's too short to surround yourself with toxic people, even if they happen to be related. It makes me glad you've gotten away from her. I remember back when you were living there and she was constantly going through your stuff and just being a complete pill. It's classic Cluster B personality disorder stuff. Have you read Toxic Parents? Great book, might be something that your friend would benefit from, too. If she has trouble with the idea of cutting off family, send her to the All In The Family board on Babycenter or JustNoMIL on Reddit. She'll get support from those boards from a ton of people who have been there, done that.
• Toronto, Ontario
I will tell her that. I told her just send me a message when she wants. I told her it will take time especially when They are so manipulating. Everything she described was my mother in a nut shell. I said she will never be happy for you and don't try and please her. Just do as you want and be happy. I sent her a fee links describing the behaviour. Told her took me awhile to understand it wasn't me but her.