What Should I Do ?
By jaishankar
@Shivram59 (31775)
India
May 21, 2018 11:11pm CST
A childhood friend wants me to lend him Rs.10000.I don't want to disappoint him ,but know his financial condition is precarious now and ,if I lend him the amount ,he would not be able to pay it back at least in near future. My own financial condition is not good either ,not good enough to allow me to let go of the amount.
But I know if I refuse to help him ,he would not believe me and it would adversely affect our friendly relations.
I don't want to lose a friend.Nor do I want to lose money.
What should I do ?
11 people like this
12 responses
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
22 May 18
Tell him the truth, tell him your financial situation, there's nothing wrong with that. If he is your real friend ,he will understand you.
3 people like this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@Jessabuma Thanks,dear.You are right. Today I have decided to do exactly that .If my refusal deprives me of his friendship ,so be it .
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
23 May 18
@Shivram59 Good luck to you dear friend. Hopefully it will turn out well..
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@id_peace It is around $146.I have no idea why he needs the money.At present,I can't afford to lend him the amount .I know he would never be able to pay it back.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@id_peace It is around $146. I don't knowant why he needs the amount .
@id_peace (14005)
• Singapore
22 May 18
@Shivram59
Any chance to lend him partial?
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
22 May 18
Lend him only if you are ready to forget that money. If you expect it back then you will loos money and friendship.If you can't afford it at present you can tell him your house construction is going on so all money invested there. If he is a good friend then he will understand your situation.
Money has the power to ruin relationship. Even if you give many times and refuse one time, you will got the bad name. That is the reality.
We are on struggle period and many people owed money from us. Some are already moved away knowing we are not 'wet lands any more'. Neither me nor my hubby asks money to them. God will show some way for us....
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
23 May 18
@Shivram59 That will be the right decision for sure. Telling our problems are always good than feeling sorry later.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@Sreekala I have a good news.Today I frankly told him that I can't lend him the money,and he realised my situation.I have not lost a friend.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@Sreekala As I told you, Rs.10000 is too big an amount for me to let go of. I know very well he would never be able to pay it back to me. So,today I have decided to tell him politely,but frankly I can't oblige him.He is well aware of my troubles.If my refusal makes him snap relations,so be it .Honestly speaking,I want to help him,but am helpless myself.
1 person likes this
@Lignitecityabishek96 (7110)
• Cuddalore, India
22 May 18
This issue has no solution really. Neither you loose money or your friend.
1 person likes this
@Lignitecityabishek96 (7110)
• Cuddalore, India
23 May 18
@Shivram59 Okay that's what I mentioned.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@Lignitecityabishek96 I'm so glad to tell you that today,when I told him why I can't help him, he realised my situation.I have not lost my friend.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@Lignitecityabhishek96 There is only one solution to it .I should tell him very politely,but frankly that I'm not in a position to oblige him.He is well aware of the problems I'm facing.But if ,despite it , he snaps our friendship, so be it.I would not be sorry to lose a selfish friend.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
24 May 18
If the friend does not understand your reasons for not wanting to lend the money, he is not your friend. It's that simple. I'd keep my money and if the "friend" decides not to be a friend anymore, you will know what kind of a friend he is.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
24 May 18
@porwest Yesterday I had a pleasant surprise.I told him that I'm not in a position to help him , and he took it very positively. He realised I was really in trouble, embraced me and said ,' Don't worry.Everything will be OK soon.
We are still friends.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
28 May 18
@Shivram59 A pleasant surprise indeed.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@mnglsp Thanks,dear.You are right.That's exactly what I have decided to do.If he understands me,well and good ,but if chooses to snap our friendship,all I would lose is a selfish friend.
1 person likes this
@mnglsp (3614)
• Philippines
23 May 18
@Shivram59 Yeah. You made the right choice.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@MusesM What happened was quite unexpectedly. I told him why I can't help him and he realised my situation.He is still my friend.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36442)
• Toccoa, Georgia
22 May 18
You should not give him the money if you yourself can not afford to do so.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36442)
• Toccoa, Georgia
22 May 18
@Shivram59 That is good to say no.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@LeaPea2417 That's what I'm going to tell him.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
22 May 18
@LeaPea2417 Yes,I am not going to give him the money.I can't afford it.
1 person likes this
@rakski (112925)
• Philippines
23 May 18
if you have 'excess' money (meaning, even if he cannot pay on time, you will be good) then end him money. But if you need the money also, then tell him you already have a budget and non to spare. If your friend got mad because of you did not lend him money, then he is not a true friend.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@rakski My financial condition is much better than his, but now I don't have money enough to help him.He is asking for Rs 10000 which is too big an amount .Moreover I know very well he would never be able to pay it back in near future. I'm helpless myself.I very honestly want to help him, but how can I do so? The only option left for me is that I should tell him very politely,but firmly that I am not in a position to oblige him.
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
27 May 18
@Shiva49 Yes,I made up my mind and told him frankly that I'm not in a position to help him.And fortunately he understood my situation.I'm so glad that I did not lose a friend.
1 person likes this
@rubyriaz007 (4188)
• India
23 May 18
I think you should not give him money,if you know that he will not return back. If he does not return back you will face problem.
So make him understand in a nice way that you cant lend him money as your financial condition is also bad. I feel he would understand.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@rubyriaz007 That's exactly what I told him today and fortunately he realised my situation.I'm so glad that I have not lost my friend.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20608)
• Philippines
23 May 18
Just lend him something that you can shoulder. Tell him, that's all that you can afford. That's what I do when a friend cries for help.
1 person likes this
@Shivram59 (31775)
• India
23 May 18
@simplfred He is asking for Rs.10000,not any less than that .But the truth is that currently I'm not in a position to let go of even Rs.500.He would never be able to pay it back.That's why I have decided to tell him politely that I am unable to oblige him now.
1 person likes this
