30 Year Old Man Will Not Move Out of Parents Home

Photo of cottage from morguefile.com
Laguna Woods, California
May 22, 2018 5:59pm CST
We have an unbelievable story occurring right now in the United States. The parents of a 30 year-old man in Syracuse, New York refuses to move out his parents' home, even after they have given him five written notices and offered to give him $1100 a month to help with expenses. He took the first $1100 from them, but still did not move out. Despite their pleas and the offer of money, he refuses to leave their home. He does not help with chores. They say he is also very disrespectful towards them. He barely speaks to them. The judge ordered the man to move out. He still refuses and has said he will appeal the judge's decision. Back in the 1990s, when I was a Realtor, I had clients who sold their beautiful four bedroom home and moved into a very small one-bedroom condo in another city. I didn't understand why they did it until two years later when they called me, said their kids were now self-supporting, and they wanted to move back into a home. In other words, they had to move in order to get rid of their kids! I guess some kids are hard to get rid of. Glad I never had that problem!
40 people like this
40 responses
@josie_ (7409)
• Philippines
22 May
Here in the Philippines it's not unusual to have adult children and even their family living with their parents. What would be incomprehensible is having to bribe them to move out or ask a judge to evict them.
14 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
22 May
Thats is so true po. It is uncommon here since parents would even tell their children to stay with then.
6 people like this
@louievill (19341)
• Philippines
22 May
@mlgen1037 yeah right, some parents ask not only their children to stay but at times the whole family especially when they like the in-laws and fall in love with their grandchild or grandchildren.
6 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
23 May
@louievill Yes, they do that here. One big happy family.
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (39591)
• United States
23 May
I had my son and grandson with me for 10 years and then my daughter and her family for 2 and I love it but I knew they would move out and we all chipped in to do chores. My big old house feels empty with just us and the dogs, I need to get some kids back in lol
7 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@BelleStarr - I understand. We had one daughter and her two kids that lived with us for a while after a divorce. However, this man does not help his parents. On the news, he kept referring to them and "those people." He doesn't contribute either money or effort. They want him out, and I think they should not have had to ask him twice ... let alone five times!
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (39591)
• United States
23 May
@DeborahDiane I saw him on TV today, what a loser he is.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May
@BelleStarr - Yes, this guy is definitely a loser. He still has not moved out, even after the judge ordered it. I think he is treating his parents very badly. He even referred to them as "those people" rather than as his parents. They must be very hurt and disappointed by his behavior.
1 person likes this
@louievill (19341)
• Philippines
22 May
That is very normal for Filipinos but the only thing is the child who does not leave must help with the expenses, help with the maintenance of the house, help with household chores and take care of the parents especially in their old age ( Filipinos do not put parents in homes, we take care of them to the end) Our culture is a bit different
7 people like this
23 May
That is what makes the country attractive to old people from other side of the world. They wanted to stay in the Philippines for them to have someone to take good care of them.
4 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@louievill - I would agree that it would be OK for an adult child to live with parents, if he was helping to take care of them. This man does not even speak to his parents, he does not help them, he does not check on them. He is also reported to be rude to them. They are taking care of him, and they want that to stop. I am sympathetic towards them.
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@Herlyn123 - Yes, I think it is very nice when adult children take care of the parents. The Philippines is very nice about that.
2 people like this
@Daelii (5817)
• United States
22 May
lol! I know someone who was like that. Once the parents were both deceased he became a live in guest to his siblings. I never could understand why someone wouldn't get a job and do their own thing. Like seriously??? I was working in my early teens, going to college at 16, and paying towards a mortgage at 18. Was a home owner by 22!
6 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@Daelii - I have always been much more like you. I do not understand why someone can behave like this young man and feel OK with themselves.
1 person likes this
@Daelii (5817)
• United States
23 May
@DeborahDiane me neither! You figured as an adult when your brothers and sisters kids are getting jobs, going to college, getting married, having babies etc it would be time to get a job or do something with your life?
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@Daelii - I agree! I'm sure all his friends are living independently, too. It is time for him to behave like an adult. He will be much better off if he does!
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
22 May
That is a strange one. Most kids are eager to strike out on their own.
6 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@JamesHxstatic - I agree. Most kids can hardly wait to be on their own. This man needs to get with it and move out. It is outrageous that he is taking advantage of his parents this way.
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@lnillerman - I agree that this young man is behaving in a very disrespectful way.
@db20747 (9061)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
25 May
Yes, and can't wait and would take the money!!! Its a hard thing 2 face when your parents R giving U the boot!!!
@Courtlynn (55616)
• United States
23 May
they offer him money, to leave, when he doesn't help them out AND is disrespectful
5 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@Courtlyn - Yes, his behavior is outrageous. He even took the money they offered him, then didn't move. The parents want their son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@lnillerman - I agree his behavior is very wrong.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (55616)
• United States
23 May
@lnillerman yes it is.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (170893)
• Switzerland
23 May
In Europe is pretty common to have grown up children living with their parents. I do not believe that a judge can evict them from their parents house, unless they do something wrong.
4 people like this
23 May
Exactly.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@LadyDuck - In this case, the parents want him to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge, because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want him there and if he is being helpful and pleasant. If not, he needs to get his own place.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (170893)
• Switzerland
24 May
@DeborahDiane I have checked the law in Italy. The parents can ask their children to leave the house, but they are obliged to maintain them until they reach financial independence. The parents must leave a "reasonable" time to their children to leave the house (at least 3 months). If the children do not go, they can ask a lawyer to take care of the matter. The waiting in Italy to have a decision from the court is at least 3 years... good luck to the parents.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (40090)
23 May
@DeborahDiane Here we have some kids live with their parents till they get married. I have read before about parents selling their place and moving into a smaller place so their kids cannot move back home.
4 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@Hannihar - I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, but they have to be helpful and contribute to the household. This man does not do that. I'm glad I'm not the only one to know people who moved to smaller places so their kids could not move back home!
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (40090)
24 May
@DeborahDiane I read this morning that the parents won the case and the son has to move out.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May
@Hannihar - That is what the judge ordered, but the man still has not moved out. He just refuses to go. I don't know if they will have to get the police to remove him, or what. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, but helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (13283)
22 May
What is this squatter's rights? Unbelievable....Can't the parents have the police remove him. The house is not in his name.
4 people like this
@Daelii (5817)
• United States
23 May
Squatters rights are people can "move into" places, at times break the law by going into private property. They live there long enough, they are considered legal tenants.
2 people like this
@dgobucks226 (13283)
24 May
@Daelii I was kidding...
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
25 May
@dgobucks226 - The parents may eventually have to get the police involved. He is still living there, even after the judge ordered him to move. They must be terribly hurt by his behavior. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, but helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (81105)
• Banks, Oregon
22 May
Wow that's awful. I would never stay any where I wasn't wanted.
4 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@TRBRocks420 - I would never stay anywhere I wasn't wanted, either. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (81105)
• Banks, Oregon
23 May
@DeborahDiane I agree if I was the dad I would just grab him by the collar and, the belt loop and, huck him right out the door lol.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@TRBRocks420 - Yes, I think they let this go on too long. They should have gotten all their friends and family together and moved him out.
1 person likes this
@iridion9 (9159)
• Philippines
23 May
Not all kids can move out of their parents home. Especially when they have disabilities.
4 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@iridion9 - I agree, but this man does not have a disability, and the parents have supported him his entire life. The parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@lnillerman - Yes, some disabled people need to live with their parents, but not all of them.
1 person likes this
@KristenH (24728)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
22 May
Geesh! I hope he moves out soon and get a life and his own place.
4 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@KristenH - I agree that he needs his own place. The parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@lnillerman - Yes, he is being very rude and disrespectful.
@just4him (124124)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
23 May
I hope they can get the son out of their home. Having someone who is disrespectful under your roof, and doesn't do anything to help, is an unwanted guest. Which is how he is acting, not like a son.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@just4him - I agree he is not acting like a son. He is not acting like a man either, although he is 30 years old. It must be very stressful for the parents to have him under their roof, or they would not have gone to this extreme. It is a shame.
1 person likes this
@just4him (124124)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
24 May
@DeborahDiane Yes, it is. I didn't mind my son living with me, but he was helpful. This guy isn't and is only a sponge to their son.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May
@just4him - Yes, this guy just wants to sponge off his parents. It is unfair for them to have that burden. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, by helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (27984)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 May
I feel bad about it even now but we couldn't keep paying our daughter's way. She started scouting around for ways to bring in money when she still had a couple of years of high school to go through. She tried to come home when there was an issue at the university dorms but hubby said NO! You work it out there and don't try to come back.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@sallypup - Sometimes you have to insist your kids stand on their own two feet. In the long run, they will be better off for it. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (27984)
• Moses Lake, Washington
23 May
@DeborahDiane The parents should have started teaching their son to stand up and do things around the house when he was quite young. I wonder if the husband does chores and helps with cooking??
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@sallypup - That is a good question. I agree that parents need to teach their children to do chores when they are young. Even my daughter who has three pre-schoolers has a "chore chart" for them. It has pictures of different chores, like picking up toys or making their bed. Even though they don't do a good job, she thinks it is important to get them started.
1 person likes this
@rakski (20884)
• Philippines
23 May
This is normal here in the Philippines or usually some families put another house beside them so the adult children with family can live there near the family.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@rakski - In the Philippines, the adult children are usually helpful. In this case, the parents want him to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge, because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want him there and if he is being helpful and pleasant. If not, he needs to get his own place.
1 person likes this
@rakski (20884)
• Philippines
23 May
@DeborahDiane that is true. Usually, if other children still lives with the parents, they share paenta with billsnor other expenses.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@rakski - Yes, that is the fair thing to do. Everyone must help in the household.
@wolfgirl569 (8435)
• Marion, Ohio
23 May
Their first mistake was offering to pay him to move out. I would have tossed all belongings and him to the curb. Not saying my adult kids cant live with me. But they would be helping around the house and also actively looking for a job.
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@wolfgirl569 - I agree! I would never have let my adult children treat me the way this man is treating his parents. As far as I'm concerned, he can live in his car until he finds another place to live. They should not have to put up with a rude free-loader under their roof for one minute longer than they want to.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (82202)
• United States
23 May
Glad I never had that problem either, although our younger son and his bride have been living in our house since February. He sold his house and rather than have him rent while looking for their dream home, we offered our house while we were in Florida. The kids found their dream home in our town just two miles away from us!!!!
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@DianneN - That is wonderful that your son and his wife will be near you. One of our daughters and her two teenage kids live just seven miles from us, and we see them once or twice a week. I think that is great! That daughter and her kids lived with us for a while when she moved to our area, too, until she started her new job and had time to find a place. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@kepweng (17705)
• Waikoloa, Hawaii
22 May
Wow $1100 a month is nice Deal How much the COST of Small house in california??
3 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@kepweng - This young man and his family live in Syracuse, New York. He would probably have to earn more to live "comfortably," even in New York State. However, he is not even trying. He will not work at a job. The parents want their son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100253)
• Chile
23 May
I would not mind having my grownup daughters living with me, providing they helped out with the chores and financially. And providing too that I go on being the head of the house.
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@marguicha - I agree that those are reasonable expectations. In this case, the parents want their 30 year old son to move. He is being rude to them, he will not help around the house, he does not pay them anything. They only went to a judge because he refused to move out after they wrote him five letters. I think it is OK for adult children to live with parents, if the parents want them there and if the adult children are being helpful and pleasant. If not, the kids needs to get their own place.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (100253)
• Chile
23 May
@DeborahDiane I understand that the adult children live with their parents if it is for mutual benefit. I would live forever with a disabled child, no matter what his age. Or if they are in any need, I would have them here as I know that they would take me into their home if needed. But adults are adults. And old people need rest.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@marguicha - Yes, I agree that it would be much different if he was disabled or there was some other reason he could not move out. It would also be different if he was kind and helpful towards his parents. This is not the situation, however.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
22 May
That man irresponsible and is only there for the convenience.
2 people like this
• Laguna Woods, California
23 May
@mlgen1037 - You are right. He is being irresponsible and is only staying for his convenience, not to help his family. Such a shame.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29634)
• Manila, Philippines
24 May
@DeborahDiane It is indeed. Imagine his parents even sued him but nothing.
1 person likes this
• Laguna Woods, California
24 May
@mlgen1037 - Yes, this is a very sad case. I have known families where several generations lived together, but usually everyone in the family contributed in some way, by helping out financially or by doing chores. This man does nothing for his parents, but he still expects to live with them. That is unreasonable.
1 person likes this