Should responsibilities be shared between husband and wife?

But the husband lives in the house too. It's not a hotel. Why should the wife have to clean it on her own all the time, regardless of whether she works or not?

I agree with this.

@lovebuglena what else is she going to do? What does she bring to the partnership if she doesn’t maintain the house? Is she too busy watching TV or something? I agree that the husband should help but IMO if he is working full time and she is not, the bulk of it should be her responsibility

But what if the woman is not working. Should she still be expected to do everything herself?

@lovebuglena Not unless she receives a good salary from her husband. If I had to cater to his every need and clean up after him as well as the children and myself, he wants to pay me well for the service or do it himself.

Maybe I should tell hubby, If you don't want to help me with anything, pay me and I will do everything myself.

@lovebuglena Exactly, before my husband went to the nursing home, he retired before I did, I still worked. He did all the cooking.

@popciclecold Definitely. If two people share a life together they should share the responsibilities no matter what, unless one of the people is physically unable to do things.

@popciclecold That was nice of him to cook.

Responsibilities should definitely be shared, especially when it comes to something like cleaning/upkeeping a four story house, which is tedious for one person to do on her own.

@andriaperry I have no kids and I am 35.

@lovebuglena How many children do you have? and how old are they?

Help is always appreciated and the right thing to do. Of course, a person should help another but without complaining about it.

@lovebuglena I hate it too when a person complains. I would rather choose to do it myself than force a person to help me. I appreciate people who do not feel obliged to help but gives you a lending hand.

@AnnieY I remember my husband used to tell me that he doesn't want to spend his day off cleaning. I think he still thinks this way because he never offers to help me clean. He just complains that the house is dirty or not clean enough... We live in a four story house and I can't clean it all by myself. It's exhausting for me. And when it comes to dust/dirt, you can't just clean one floor today and the other tomorrow, etc. because all that dust/dirt will go from the dirty floor to the clean one. He has to help. Heck, he got upset because I asked him to wash a pot the other day, so we can heat up some soup for dinner. He expects to always come home after work to a kitchen with no dirty dishes anywhere in the kitchen. I am not always in the mood to wash dishes. And if I don't wash them a certain day I always wash them the next. He rarely offers to wash them or does it without saying anything. More so I have to tell him something like thank you for the dishes to get him to do them.

@lovebuglena He sounds like a not so nice husband.

@lovebuglena Well, the things is that unfortunately a lot of men and actually a lot women, still believe that house chores are only to be done by women since men are the ones that "work" simply because they do different tasks at a different place and actually get paid for it. I honestly think it is absurd to think this way, they don't understand that it is also tiring to do the house chores especially if you have a big house, I also live in a two-story house and I find it impossible to clean it all in one single day and it is impossible to keep it clean all the time. Maybe you should just communicate and let him know how you feel and come up with an agreement to maybe prevent from the house getting so messy in the first place and agree for each to wash their own dish, on a day off to maybe have him help you do the laundry while you cook and later on that day just watch a movie together.

@lovebuglena I'll admit that I have to force myself to do it too, for the same reason. But it is best to share the shores.

I will admit I have to force myself to clean because I hate it. But it has to be done. And I need help doing it because it is tough cleaning a four story house. And it is upsetting when help is not offered by someone who lives under the same roof as me.

If you have to wait forever for things to get done, and if they are usually not done right, then better to do it yourself. But then it is not fair.

@lovebuglena lifes not fair. So i guess it wouldnt matter. Lol