Catch 22!!!!!!!!!

@db20747 (9028)
Washington, District Of Columbia
June 27, 2018 6:32pm CST
I hope this doesn't sound like another complaint, But i know that it is!!! I've been helpin' grams and pops 4 a few years now. I try 2 take care that i follow her instructions as closely as possible!!! But she refused everything!!! She still wanted to lift wheelchairs and heavy things at costcos like soda cases!!! I have to tussle with her and insist!!! Then she gets mad and kicks the cases of sodas!!! My friends say let her do what she wants!!! I'm not telling her what to do!!! I'm merely suggesting!!! So i just said Let me know when U need help!!! Now she makes comments that sound like I don't help her, like I just can't give U the money, I don't mind if u do a little something to earn it!!!! I can't believe it!!! This is running up my blood pressure, i cant go back and forth like this!!! ill just help when it's needed and leave it at that!!! I'm not offering like i used to!!! Is that a good way to handle things??!!!!!!!
5 people like this
8 responses
@bunnybon7 (37157)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Jun
i am not sure. i give my daughter what i can to help financially and like to receive physical help in return. but i do respect her enough not to talk mean to her and expect the same. but times she takes advantage and talks down to me. not knowing your whole situation i may not be the one to ask
2 people like this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
28 Jun
Family helping family can be easier said than done sometimes!!! Just because it's family doesn't mean it will go smoothly especially if U R used to each other!!! we want to help each other, some way we must communicate better!!!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37157)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Jun
@db20747 you got that right. i tell daughter all the time communication is most important.
@rakski (20767)
• Philippines
28 Jun
I am sorry to hear this. Sometimes it is really hard to handle situations with our grandparents.
2 people like this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
28 Jun
Yes!! I'm going to do my darndest bestest to ignore the comments!!! U just cant walk out!!! That's not nice!!!
@Starmaiden (7341)
• Canada
27 Jun
Thats a tough situation. Grandparents are set in their ways and can be stubborn, especially if they feel like they are no longer in control of their life. Asking for and accepting help (to them) is a sign of frailty and they want to prove that they can "still do it" on their own. She doesn't seem to understand that you don't want her to injure herself.
2 people like this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
28 Jun
You've got it to a tee!!! It's like sh'e trying 2 be super woman still and her daughter and me just try to explain that it's best to take it easy than over do it, although she is very strong!!! She still wants 2 prove she's got it!!! Her mind is very well!!!
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (56206)
• United States
27 Jun
What I always said was " let me know if you need any help, I am right over here."
2 people like this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
28 Jun
That's a good way!! And I'll just do my best to ignore the comments!!!!
@Shavkat (65004)
• Philippines
28 Jun
Sometimes it is really difficult to handle some geriatrics. We really need a lot of patience. I can understand where it is coming from.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
29 Jun
Thank U!!!! I also have to take it easy struggling back and forth!!! She is resting a little more these days because she has too, but she still tries sometimes to be the female hercules!!!!
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (65004)
• Philippines
2 Jul
@db20747 My mom is a senior citizen now. She can't keep still.lol But then, I always tell her to ask help from us.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
3 Jul
@Shavkat Yes, it's very hard when you've been doing things for 75 years!!!
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (135235)
• United States
28 Jun
I am not sure it i's possible to leave her home. I am not sure about ages or anything. Sorry.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
29 Jun
She still is in very good shape and very independent, but she's falling!!! She fell twice and the second time she had to have the bone set in her arm!!! Her hip is hurting and she has a limp!!! I try to tell her anybody needs rest!!! And she gets mad if U say that!!! She's resting a little more these days. But she would not have 2 be injured if she just took it a little easy and not try to lift such heavy items like my father's wheel chair!!!
@sharon6345 (135235)
• United States
29 Jun
@db20747 That is true and I am glad you said that. I think that might be Kay's issue with me since she is always saying mommy rest more. I will take that into consideration.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
30 Jun
@sharon6345 That is a good way to handle things!!!!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (53187)
• Philippines
27 Jun
Now that's really a burden. But you can continue to help and only when she asks you to.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (9028)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
28 Jun
Yes!! And just politely ask do u need help even though i know she's gonna rip me to up into pieces!!!
1 person likes this
@mandala100 (48241)
• Hong Kong
28 Jun
I understand you on this my friend.