I need help concerning deceased father Iowa

July 30, 2018 7:14am CST
I Accidentally deleted my discussion... My father passed away suddenly in 2015. He had no Will. He lived with a lady who will not give me his personal belongings or ashes after saying she will. She has me blocked from only form of communication. The VA told me she was listed as finacee next of kin and I was secondary .once he passed away it was their opinion she was not considered anything to him. When the funeral home called to get my permission to carry out cremation I told them I would not give it unless his ashes came to me. I was told it wouldn't matter it would still carry on so I said why do you need my permission at all then and hung up the phone. I was very upset as anyone would be. Over the past few years I have tried to be patient and understanding with the girl friend.. I've tried talking rationally and it always went well she always agreed yes she was going to be sending stuff yet her youngest daughter told me recently she never had any intention of anything. She has moved several times the daughter had to make her leave her home not willing to contribute toward bills. this is her own daughter.She has moved in with a guy half her age now and there's no talking to her. can anything be filed against a funeral home or has anything been done illegally is what I'm wanting to know they never sent me any form design like the state of Iowa says you have to do. It's not money I'm going after because he had nothing I just want my dad stuff and carry out his wishes with his ashes .she's not doing or going to. please if you have any knowledge on the situation respond! if not please don't !.it's a sensitive enough topic . Thanks
2 people like this
3 responses
• United States
30 Jul 18
if she doesn't have the DD-216 form she won't be able to collect anyway.a copy of that is hard even for a relative to get nowadays. but if there's no common law marriage in your state she shouldn't be allowed anyway unless they had a legal contract made up at a lawyer's.
1 person likes this
30 Jul 18
Thank you very much ;
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
4 Aug 18
I'm not an expert, but there is a website called Avvo that might help you. I consulted them when I had some legal issues concerning my son's biological father/my ex husband as well as some harassment problems with my ex boyfriend. Avvo is a site where you can post a legal question and lawyers in your area and in the field related to your question will give you free advice. They also have a section where you can read lawyer reviews and find a lawyer if you need one. You can see if they offer free consultations, how much they charge per hour, their ratings and credentials, and user reviews. It's very handy, an easy to use site, but extremely informative. You get notified when a lawyer answers your question and you'll generally get 3-5 answers in one question, and some lawyers give more detailed responses than others, so that might be a good avenue to take.
@NJChicaa (116284)
• United States
30 Jul 18
Why do you think she still even has his ashes?
30 Jul 18
Her daughter told me she does but that's another reason im more panicked by the day. She will get rid of everything before she gives it to me I'm afraid
1 person likes this