I need help concerning deceased father Iowa

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I Accidentally deleted my discussion... My father passed away suddenly in 2015. He had no Will. He lived with a lady who will not give me his personal belongings or ashes after saying she will. She has me blocked from only form of communication. The VA told me she was listed as finacee next of kin and I was secondary .once he passed away it was their opinion she was not considered anything to him. When the funeral home called to get my permission to carry out cremation I told them I would not give it unless his ashes came to me. I was told it wouldn't matter it would still carry on so I said why do you need my permission at all then and hung up the phone. I was very upset as anyone would be. Over the past few years I have tried to be patient and understanding with the girl friend.. I've tried talking rationally and it always went well she always agreed yes she was going to be sending stuff yet her youngest daughter told me recently she never had any intention of anything. She has moved several times the daughter had to make her leave her home not willing to contribute toward bills. this is her own daughter.She has moved in with a guy half her age now and there's no talking to her. can anything be filed against a funeral home or has anything been done illegally is what I'm wanting to know they never sent me any form design like the state of Iowa says you have to do. It's not money I'm going after because he had nothing I just want my dad stuff and carry out his wishes with his ashes .she's not doing or going to. please if you have any knowledge on the situation respond! if not please don't !.it's a sensitive enough topic . Thanks