That Wednesday

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Last week I posted about finally having a conversation with my father. If you don't know, I have not had the best relationship with my father. He left when I was 6, my childhood sucked really bad, nights when I was left hungry, I was abused (not by my father, but by others), just a lot of stuff happened and finally I decided to not visit my father anymore when I was 13. So that started a distance with us. When I was 18 we started forming a relationship again BUT it was really just to dog sit his 500 dogs, well like 7. And it was just getting to the point where he wasn't talking to me, he always said "We should get together at some point" but never did, and I just felt like I was ignored. At the beginning of May I confronted my father over text just totally irritated and said I don't want to do anything for him if he isn't going to treat me like I am his daughter. Last week on Sunday he messed me asking if I wanted to visit on Wednesday and I said yes and I was petrified. Like I had no idea what was going to happen, were we going to yell? Was I going to cry? Like I had no idea! But it actually was a decent visit. It wasn't as dramatic as I thought it was going to be. We had dinner, I talked to my step mom, there was really no heart to heart moment. He did however apologized and admitted that he was distant because he really didn't understand how to basically father me. My step mom's kids were already teenagers when he met them and so he didn't know how to raise me. I mean I was his weird gothic kid who is nerdy and not Christian and all of these other things that just was the opposite of him. He said that he wanted to meet up more often so we can actually talk and rebuild that relationship. We shall see if that happened. But yes, that was the tea, it has been spilled for all of those who were curious.