Don't make self depreciating jokes
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40246)
United States
September 26, 2018 2:58pm CST
Hi MyLot,
I thought I would tell you about one time when a self depreciating joke backfired on me, in hopes that you will learn from my folly.
I'm really good at self depreciating humor, maybe you are too? A little bit of it can let people know that you aren't arrogant, but a lot of it signals a lack of esteem, which is too bad since we are all special and unique and have our own gifts.
So here is one time my lack of self esteem got my in trouble.
I was in a group of ladies. One of the was talking about going on a date with a guy she liked, a first date. I said lucky her, and how I hoped it would go well and etc.
Someone who didn't know me well must have said something about do I date to which I replied something along the lines of, oh no - who would want me?
To which the other larger group of ladies THOUGHT I HAD MEANT THE ORIGINAL GIRL GOING ON A DATE!
One of them replied to me indignantly "well who wouldn't want to date her, she's lovely!"
Oh my goodness I wanted to melt through the floor. Of course I hadn't meant the original girl. She's a nice person and pretty and all.
So I tried to tell them that I had meant myself..... and I feel like they kinda gave me the good old eye roll - yeah right attitude.
So, lesson learned, don't make self depreciating jokes, because even they can backfire easily.
Photo: Pixabay
19 people like this
20 responses
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
27 Sep 18
Oh yeah, how well do you know these people? because sometimes if we are with friends we don't need to explain ourselves.
2 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
28 Sep 18
@FayeHazel yes, that's always the case. Thanks for sharing to us this experience. You are right!
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
3 Oct 18
@Mavic123456 Ha ha, I am happy if even 1 person can avoid the mistake
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Oh for sure. My close friends would have "gotten" it since they know me.... these were mostly new acquaintances. Gr.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22425)
• United Kingdom
3 Oct 18
The joke was normal and inoffensive. I make self deprecating jokes a lot as well. But these girls you were with seemed to have watched too many episodes of “mean girls”. One thing that they heard it wrong and it’s another how they reacted to your explaination.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22425)
• United Kingdom
4 Oct 18
@FayeHazel It is also important for people to have an open mind and tolerance despite the different exposures.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
4 Oct 18
Good point! What we are exposed to can shape our opinion of what we observe in our surroundings
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
5 Oct 18
@flapiz Ah yes, that is one positive - at least there is more tolerance these days I think
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40915)
• Wapello, Iowa
8 Oct 18
Got it! Now, I just have to look up depreciating to make sure I know what not to do.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40915)
• Wapello, Iowa
9 Oct 18
@FayeHazel I'm trying not to because figuring it out is so much fun. Based on the picture, I think it might involve taking a bath or...um...some other bathroom activity. But that doesn't seem to fit with the story. This is going to take a lot of research but I think I can do it!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
9 Oct 18
@xander6464 Hmm I do need a shower at the moment lol
1 person likes this
@Orson_Kart (6146)
• United Kingdom
27 Sep 18
When I saw the word depreciating, I lost interest too. 
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Ah .... ha ha. I see what you did there
1 person likes this
@Plethos (13560)
• United States
27 Sep 18
@FayeHazel - or as someone once told me, no ego.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Gr. It made me seem mean - the opposite of what I am.
Interesting though, I guess that's 2 ways to look at it. If your esteem is healthy enough maybe it isn't seen as a lack of esteem, but rather that you can laugh at yourself.... good trait
2 people like this
@amirev777 (4117)
• India
29 Sep 18
@FayeHazel I agree with you, they mostly backfire. But should it not be self deprecating instead of depreciating. Correct me if I am wrong
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
3 Oct 18
Ah I'm no good speller - so you are probably right
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
29 Sep 18
That is a bit of confusion on their part, but one you don't want to repeat!
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111948)
• United States
27 Sep 18
@FayeHazel oh my yes I am.good ,bad, ugly .lol
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
29 Sep 18
@FayeHazel I agree, it is an eeek moment. 
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Oh happy no one has made that misunderstanding with you. Eeeek!
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
27 Sep 18
That stinks they thought you meant her.
1 person likes this
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@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
26 Sep 18
What we say about ourselves registers in our minds so it has to always be positive, we can be humble and show humility in many other ways by not degrading ourselves.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
I agree with you. It's a bad habit in my case. But you mention a good point. There are other ways to be humble than saying bad things about one's own self
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Thanks Jim - that's awesome of you. In reality, I think it's because I just need the exact right person who will appreciate my eccentricities --- and apparently he's real good at hiding....
@FayeHazel (40246)
• United States
27 Sep 18
Ha ha! Oh dear. It was bad. It made me seem mean, I'm not at all mean , grrrrr
1 person likes this
