Stressful few days. . . . .Weeks.

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It has been a stressful few days. Scratch that. A stressful few weeks is more accurate. Since learning that KK’s bio mom moved back to NY, things have been stressful. We did have a nice visit on 9/29 which was great. Me and KK were worried that things were not going to go well but I am always one to think of worse case scenario that way I am prepared if things go sour. That’s probably a big reason as to why I have so much stress. I stress about bad things that haven’t happened yet and probably won’t happen. Flash forward to 10/3 and it turned out that KK’s school field trip was to the factory where her supposed bio dad works. He saw her and because KK told his boss to tell him she said hi, he now wants to have a relationship with her and make amends for all the crap he did wrong to her like saying that he knew she is not his daughter so he wants nothing to do with her. I talked this over with KK and told her that it was ultimately her choice. And the funny thing is that we are trying to do this New Year, New Beginnings thing where we forgive and forget certain things but the hurt that he caused her is too much for her to forgive and forget which I don’t blame her. So, KK has decided that she does not want to see her bio dad, ever. I told her that it was her choice and I do believe that she made the right one. Her sister has contact with their dad and she did not have any good things to say about him. KK’s sister doesn’t even want to be around him but has to in order to see her younger brothers. Monday, I am going to text KK’s bio dad and inform him of her decision and also tell him that if he has a problem with it to not take it out on KK’s bio mom. She has nothing to do with KK’s decision but she does support it. And with KK being 17, he can’t threaten to take us to court for visitation because she is old enough to say who she wants to see and who she doesn’t. In the midst of all this stress, I still found time to help someone. Hannah, KK’s sister, is having a rough time and keeping a lot of things bottled in even though I know she tries to hide it, I noticed it. When we were talking about their bio dad, I could see that she was troubled so I had a talk with her. Told her that if she ever needed anyone to confide it, that she could turn to me. If she needed me, I could be at her side in 15 minutes or less. Hannah told me that there are some things troubling her that she’s afraid to tell her mom because of how she would react, either crying or yelling about whatever it may be. So I told Hannah how I like to write in journals (or on this site) and it’s been a great help to me. At first, Hannah turned the idea away, saying it wasn’t for her but less than 10 minutes later, she asked me to take her to get her a journal. We even made a pact that if she felt up to it, she would let me read her journal and in exchange, I would let her read mine. I’m also going to have KK start a new journal so we are all starting fresh. I may even get their bio mom a journal as well. As part of the pact, I told Hannah that whatever she wrote in the journal would stay in between us if she chooses to share it with us and the only things that would be told her mom would be if Hannah expressed ideas of running away or trying to harm or kill herself. Hannah was surprised that I mentioned this but as it is, I haven’t seen her in years and I can already tell that she is not the happy girl she could be and she has so much troubling her so that is why I told her, if she ever has those thoughts and doesn't feel like she can confide in her mom, to call me immediately. After I post this, I am going to work on my journal and I’ll probably go through a few of my old posts to add to my journal. And I would just like to end this post by saying, thank you myLot and all you mylotters that read/comment on my posts. Your advice and comments truly help me in which words just can’t express. Thank you.