People change/black sheep

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It seems sometimes my life is more complicated than I'd like it to be, but then again we have little control over those around us only ourselves. I married a good man but before he was a good man he made a ton of mistakes and continues to make some. My husband is and always has been the black sheep of his family. He wasn't raised with his siblings and he had a difficult life. He was raised by his great uncle who could get mean with him and who constantly put him down. He has failed a lot and messed up royally. He found himself going down the wrong path and it has taken him a long time to sort of right it. He was an angry teenager who did a lot of bad things and messed up. His biological mother gave him up to her uncle since she wasn't allowed to keep him since she was still young and her mother forced her to give him up. His great uncle used to verbally, mentally, and eventually physically abuse him but my husband still loved the man and called him his father. When he got sick my husband was the one forced to make the decision to pull the plug. My husband was about 16 at the time. He was then forced to go live with his biological mother and his siblings who he barely knew. While there he did a lot of very stupid things because he was angry and lashing out. He owns up to them now and wishes he could take them back but he can't. He has messed up a lot. He wasn't there for his older children for various reasons some of which were his own fault and he admits that too. He admits he has messed up a lot. He has made a lot of bad decisions in the past and he has hurt a lot of people but eventually, he changed. When we grow up sometimes we learn new things and realize where we've made mistakes and how we have hurt people. The issue is that now everyone holds this all over his head and refuse to forgive him. I am afraid my son is going to have to pay for this in some respects because he'll never be close to that side of his family. My husband isn't the man he was then but he still has to pay for those actions. While I can understand where they are coming from in some respects at the same time I can't. I have my own issues with my own brother. I am still so angry with my brother but if he actually tried to change and could prove he was changing his life I would forgive him and move on. I probably wouldn't trust him again but I would definitely not hold it over his head for the rest of his life. I didn't really grow up with my brother either. He is 10 years older than me. While I want to disown him right now it's because he hasn't done anything to change himself. I don't like who he is as a person right now. My husband has tried so many times to prove he has changed and they refuse to accept that and I can't make them and clearly, he can't either. I don't blame them for not trusting him but he hasn't done anything to them like my brother has done to me or my mother and I know I would be able to forgive my brother if he was trying it's the fact that he isn't that I can't. I have always had a forgiving nature about me and while I don't understand people all the time I have always tried to see different perspectives and to try and understand people. I wish they could see the good my husband has done not just the bad. My husband is difficult to live with at times but he is the same guy who would do about anything for me or those he cares about. It's sad that after all of these years they still can't get over the past. I would get it if my husband was still pulling the same stunts but he's not. I guess once you've messed up you'll always be seen in the same light by some people. Once the black sheep always the black sheep. My husband didn't have the same benefits his siblings had growing up. He didn't get the love and support they did. He got yelled at whenever he so much as messed up a little. He was made to feel worthless. It's not an excuse for his behavior but an explanation. We all deal with things differnetly and my husband was an angry teenager and he took it out on everyone and he has done nothing but pay for it since. When I first got with him we had a lot of issues but the longer I've been with him the more he has changed for the better. He needed someone to not walk away. Everyone in his life has walked away whenever something got hard. I am the first person to accept his baggage and help him work through it. No one has done that for him before and they wondered why he was so messed up. I am with the black sheep and it is difficult because people wonder what I see in him or wonder what is wrong with me. My son misses out on things because of who his father is and I feel bad for it but I can't change it. I figure my son has everyone he currently needs in his life. If my husband's family doesn't want anything to do with him then that's their loss. I can't change people and I can't make them see things differently. I understand why they would be reluctant with my husband given his past but that still doesn't change the fact that that's not who he is now. Grudges ultimately do no one any good. The only reason I'm currently angry is because the person in my life who I so wish would change refuses to and leeches off of everyone and then there's my husband who has worked so hard and has changed so much for the better and everyone is still holding a grudge against him. Change takes a lot of time but just walking away from someone who is making a lot of progress is so messed up to me because I would love for my brother to try. I would love to see him attempt to succeed and he takes it for granted. I watch as everyone in my family clings on and supports him despite all of the damage he continues to do and it hurts to see that my husband's family can't do the same for a man who is different and actually deserves that sort of support and unwavering love and can't seem to get it. It just bothers me. I know my husband deserves the mistrust and I don't blame them for that. What I blame them for is the flat out giving up and walking away. We will be fine in the end but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting a little.