Irony/death

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It's so weird. The other day when I posted about talking about kids I went to high school with and how Karma has a way of hitting people later in life. One of the kids I had talked about was a kid I really didn't remember but recognized the name of and sort of recognized his face. I was talking to a girl I went to school with and our sons are in the same class and she was telling me about how this kid bullied some kids in high school but how he was now a heroin addict and how his mom was constantly bailing him out. She said his mug shots were just looking worse and worse. I find it so odd that we were just talking about him and then I found out he died today. I may have graduated with him and I may have known of him in passing but I really didn't know him. I won't be saying nice things about him the way the rest of the people I know are because if he was really that bad what nice thing is there to say about him? Also most of those kids admit they didn't know him but they are trying to say something nice but I would rather not. It's sad someone lost a son. I didn't wish this on him even if he was a jerk. I can't say I'm surprised he died. I mean he was a heroin addict and I had honestly just thought about how he was either going to get better or die and his mother was going to have to learn to live with the reality of that. For what it's worth I was hoping he would get better but clearly that didn't happen. I think about my own brother and how everyone fails to actually help him by not helping him and letting him hit rock bottom. When you enable you are helping them with their death sentence. My mom at least won't bail my brother out but she definitely enables him while he is out. It just reminds me of what is going to happen to my brother more than likely and it's sad. My brother wasn't a bully though. He wasn't a jerk before he became an addict. That part came later. I don't know much about the guy as far as I know he could have died in a car accident but for some reason I doubt it. I am trying not to find the irony that this guy's name came up not even a full week ago and I can't remember any other time in my life talking about him and then suddenly he's dead. It's so weird to me how someone can be here one minute and gone the next. It's why they say you shouldn't hold grudges and why you should say things to people while they're here and it still matters. Maybe had someone helped him while it mattered he would still be here. I don't know, maybe he wasn't ready to be helped but then again maybe the reason he never got help was because everyone enabled him and refused to let him get to that point I don't know. All I know is that life is short. I often wonder what people will say about me when I die? Will I suddenly become the saint that I never was? Will all of these people who didn't even know me suddenly proclaim they did? What is it about death that does this? I can honestly say I had no clue who this guy was. I knew the name and recognized the face but as far as who he was I really couldn't tell you. I can't pretend I knew anything about him because I honestly don't. I won't pretend he was some amazing guy because everything I did know about him wasn't good. Why does death suddenly make everyone remember you? Where were these people when they were alive? Talking about them in a positive light when they died when you probably trash talked them while they were alive if you talked about them at all seems rather low. If you're going to talk about people be honest. I can say I didn't know him but I didn't wish death on him, I won't though. I am sorry his family lost him and I'm sorry that's how his life turned out but by me saying it, it doesn't bring him back and give him a second chance. If you want to say nice things to or about people say it while they're alive and it still matters. Saying it now doesn't do anything. Maybe it helps their families but if you're posting it on your social media that no one else can see it doesn't help their family. I can't and won't say anything nice about someone I didn't know. It doesn't help anyone. Make sure you say things while it still matters most. Maybe he should have had some real and honest words about his behavior while he was alive and maybe he'd still be here. I don't know it's about of what ifs and at the end of the day it does nothing.