Weird things in life....

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Have you ever noticed: As soon as your fanny hits the toilet seat when you need to do something "important" the telephone rings? When you're running late your car keys are always "missing"? When you're on a date you always manage to open your mouth to say something romantic and a horrific burp comes flowing out? When you're in a crowded elevator you need to pass gas? And if you think it's going to be a quiet one it is ALWAYS a wall rattler? When you say something to someone about someone in the room (and there is lots of noise) the noise levels drop off to nothing? When you're looking for something important like a phone number or important paper it's always nowhere to be found? When you're trying to impress someone you just met you manage to either spit or sneeze on them? One of my favorites in high school was one that never failed was I would bend at the waist and without fail a huge nasty LOUD fart would escape from my fanny...in front of a guy I was crushing on. It was one of those you could load my but with bb's and use it for a machine gun type farts! I wanted to die back then but now I can look back and roll on the floor laughing at the memory! Do you have weird things to add?