Fed up and blaming each other

@Fleura (8788)
United Kingdom
March 9, 2019 7:14am CST
So, two and a half years ago we bought our current house. We spent ages thinking about where to move – whether to go somewhere different entirely. In the end we decided that this area was good, since it has good transport links and my partner was constantly travelling for his job. Then we decided that since we planned to stay in this general area, we may as well stay in this village since we are quite settled here, involved in local goings-on, have friends in the village, there are great open spaces to enjoy, easy to get into the city without needing to drive everywhere, the girls are happy at their schools, they have friends here etc. So we moved just around the corner – which cost us an absolute fortune since housing prices around here are sky high. But we thought it would be worth it to enjoy this house for the next 20 years or so. Now it turns out that the government is planning a massive new road-building project which is almost certain to create a huge interchange about a mile away. My partner is convinced this will halve the value of the house and make life unbearably noisy, and he’s now saying we should sell up and get out before everyone realises. Of course that would cost a fortune again, because although we could move somewhere cheaper it would still cost tens of thousands in legal fees, taxes, moving costs etc. The worst thing is we are now blaming each other for making the decision to live here! We almost never argue so that makes it particularly bad. I think perhaps we should communicate by email in future – then at least we will have the evidence of who said what in writing! All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2019.
15 people like this
14 responses
• United States
9 Mar
That's a tough decision considering the expense of another move. Are you sure the value will go down once the interchange is done?
2 people like this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
Of course we can't be sure of anything - it could go up!
@jaboUK (56222)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar
What a predicament for you, but perhaps it's not so bad as it seems. Being close to the new interchange might affect the house value the other way, as it will be more accessible.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar
I hope it isn't too bad, I really don't want to move and this place can't get a whole lot worse in terms of noise, it already is very noisy from the nearby traffic.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56222)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar
@Fleura Moving is such a hassle, isn't it? People ask me if I will move now that my husband is no longer here, as we have a 4 bedroomed house. I don't think I could face it
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar
@jaboUK Gosh people love to interfere don't they? Even if you did think of moving, unless you absolutely have to right away then you need a long time to come to a decision, sort out what to do with a person's possessions and all that sort of thing. We were intending to stay here for the long term and we're about half way into a major garden project so it would be a real nuisance to have to move and start again.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (11748)
• Manchester, England
9 Mar
It's more likely that being close to an interchange will add value to your house making it desirable for anyone needing easy access to the road network. And you may be in line for compensation from the Highways Agency for the increased nouse pollution. About 20 years ago we got £15000 from them when they built the M60 half a mile from our house. Didn't make a scrap of difference to noise levels!!!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
That is a possibility, places near the M40 certainly aren't cheap because of that - if anything they're more expensive because people commute to London. Where we live looks like a very quiet spot, down a little road next to the woods, but in fact we are already less than half a mile from a busy main road and can hear the traffic all the time. When we first came to look at it I remarked on the noise and the owners said 'You can just pretend it's the sea!' but of course there's no way you could ever think that. Pretty much anywhere around here you can hear traffic from somewhere. In our old house we could hear traffic from the ring road. I don't think that was quite as noisy as here, but then we had the added excitement of trains at the bottom of our garden.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (11748)
• Manchester, England
10 Mar
@Fleura Sounds like one more road isn't going to make lot of difference. It's always difficult to say what does and doesn't put people off buying a house. I have lived close to both a motorway and a train track and within weeks I forgot they were there. We currently live on the flight path into Manchester airport. Don't even notice it!! It's probably not worth arguing about!
1 person likes this
@amadeo (87174)
• United States
9 Mar
so sorry your going through with this. Take is slow.When ready then discuss.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
Thank you. I think perhaps he was having a bit of a panic. Now he has said that perhaps he was over-reacting a bit.
@amadeo (87174)
• United States
10 Mar
@Fleura most people do overreact.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (42365)
• United States
10 Mar
I would think that an interchange would raise house values for the convenience of it. On a very quiet summer night, we can hear traffic two miles from us but only at night and it has to be one of those very still nights. Life is too short to argue over this, I would stay put and just enjoy your life, the house value is irrelevant if you are staying there.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
That's what I said - we bought it as a place to live, not an investment. Where we live looks like a very quiet spot, down a little road next to the woods, but in fact we are already less than half a mile from a busy main road and can hear the traffic all the time. Pretty much anywhere around here you can hear traffic from somewhere.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (134152)
• United States
9 Mar
So sorry this has turned into an argument. It assume it would be hard to determine if the road-building project will be detrimental to homeowners at this time.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
That's the catch - we'd have to wait and see, by which time it would be too late of course. But as others have said, the house value could even increase!
1 person likes this
@topffer (37792)
• France
9 Mar
1 mile is far, I doubt that you will hear any noise. I had an express road at 1/2 mile of my previous house, I was not hearing a noise coming from it, and the price of the housing did not felt at all when they opened it. I believe you are disputing for nothing, an interchange at 1 mile may even be an asset for potential buyers.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (8788)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar
Thank you, you are right, we already have a busy road less than half a mile away which we ca hear all the time so it probably wouldn't add much to that! And as you say, people may regard it as an asset.
1 person likes this
• China
12 Mar
Neither of you is to blame.Who would have thought of the government's plan ? You two should calmly have it out with each other and figure out a best way to minimize the loss.But then again,maybe things won't be as bad as you thought of.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (15005)
• Philippines
11 Mar
So sad that you have to argue about that house; maybe both of you could evaluate the pros and cons of living in that house with the new road construction project. Hope you can settle it amicably.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
10 Mar
neither of you could anticipate the changes affecting the area - don't go arguing now
1 person likes this
@DianneN (108801)
• United States
9 Mar
How awful! One mile isn’t too bad. It’s not worth fighting over.
1 person likes this
@janethwayne (2439)
9 Mar
I hope that you can both decide which or which to really live for good.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar
A mile away probably isn't going to be a huge problem. Not worth fighting over, anyhow.
1 person likes this
@Janet357 (10131)
9 Mar
I know what you are feeling right now. Relax, let your anger subside and discuss everything when you two are okay.
1 person likes this