A Tricky Question, Can You Help?

@Adversa (408)
Australia
November 28, 2006 8:59pm CST
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. She is a very incredible woman, and her and I are staying good friends. It was one of those relationships that just werent going to work, we both accepted it. Now here is the tricky question. How long is the right time to leave it before entering into another relationship. I've never had to ask this before because I have never been good with the ladies, and me actually having a relationship is rare. Now there is a girl at work who does appear to be interested now that I am no longer with my girlfriend. I dont want to hurt the X's feelings, she still means a lot to me. But I am interested in the new woman. This is a new one for me.
4 people like this
11 responses
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
29 Nov 06
Very slowly is a good speed to proceed after you've just gotten out of a relationship. Be very cautious about a relationship that starts at work. Assessing your goals for the future would be a good place to start before you get into another relationship. Good luck.
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
29 Nov 06
Thanks, thats good advice. Its not your typical work thing. We work in different departments on different floors. Its not like we trip over each other all the time.
2 people like this
@vicki2006 (127)
• United States
29 Nov 06
It depends on how long you dated her and how serious it was. ALso depends on her, whether or not she's quick to recover or still loves you, all those sorts of thing. I'd say take it slow with this new girl and things will start to fall into place and you'll know. :D Good luck!
3 people like this
• United States
29 Nov 06
if you and your x both accepted it then i dont think you would hurt your x.if you really like this other women then i say go for it just as long as your ready for a new relationship because you do not want to be on the rebound and know you rushed into with this other women later.so i would make sure that you really are ready
• Australia
1 Dec 06
Only just figured out how to find your posts. Heres what i think ;) I think your ex would want you to be happy no matter what. She knows what you are going through and is probably going through the same thing. You have been through alot together and coming out of it in the end as friends is a great thing. You will always have her support no matter what. She wants you to be happy - thats it. Take as much or as little time as you want/need to move on as long as you are happy Big hugs ;)
2 people like this
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
Thanks Tash. Your opinion always mean the world to me. Thats not going to change
1 person likes this
• Australia
1 Dec 06
Same. You mean alot to me too and im so lucky that i have you as a friend
2 people like this
@BELMCstar (1343)
• Australia
29 Nov 06
I am not sure on this. Perhaps you should ask your ex-girlfriend how she would feel about you moving on. Explain to the new young lady that you have just come out of a long-term relationship, and that you would like to take things slowly. I am sure that she would be happy to do that. Be careful that you don't treat this as a rebound relationship. Good Luck
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
29 Nov 06
I was hoping you could shed sopme insight Bel as you know a little more then this then most.
1 person likes this
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
29 Nov 06
The whole thing sounds wrong, let me explain. I lover her. (My recent Ex) Still do, and always will. thats the problem, I know I always will. Thats not going to change in a week, and its not going to change in a year. Since I know that I am always going to love this one, does time really matter? It really changes nothing.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
20 Jan 07
I think when you meet someone new you have to look after yourself, whenyou break up with someone itis only normal to move on, but how nice of you to care of your x's feelings I think that is beautiful.
@Adversa (408)
• Australia
20 Jan 07
Thanks Lilac. Things between Her and I have turned out really well. Its been a little while since I started this conversation and things have blossomed into a beautifull friendship (Ok, I canty believe I just picked those words) Things really are going well between us now.
1 person likes this
@cessy1 (1748)
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
i think there isn't an exact timetable on when you need to have a new girlfriend..but there are a few things that you need to consider..one, you need to make sure that you already let go..if you are not sure..you are not yet ready to jump into another relationship..you need to make sure that the past relationship is just a shadow of your past..second, are you sure that the next girl is not someone to be used as a replacement..girls hate it when they are being compared to an ex..so please avoid that..there are a lot more but this post will be too long :p
2 people like this
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
21 Jan 07
If you and her chose to not have the relationship but be friends then I would say when ever you want to start dating you should life is going to move on unless you are hoping you and the ex can work something out,but I say you should try dating it shouldn't hurt her feelings since it is a mutual agreement.Good luck and hope I was of some help if you need to talk I am here for you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
It is rare for former lovers to stay friends after a break-up, but it shows that you and your ex are very mature and truthful. It might not look too nice to take up with the girl at work, especially if she is your common friend. However, if you have really strong feelings for her too, there's no reason why you should not start courting her. If as you say your ex and you are still friends, maybe you can mention casually that this girl seems to like you and does she notice, what does she think, etc. That way she will not feel that you broke up because of this girl.
@hitenp (118)
• India
1 Dec 06
y do u need some time between. i dont think so,, go on,,,,
1 person likes this
@treblem (316)
• Philippines
29 Nov 06
just trust ur instinct man.
1 person likes this