Misdiagnosed: 8 years past my expiration date

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So, yesterday I turned 28. Now, for some people getting older is scary because they have to face the fact that they're ACTUALLY getting older. For me, my birthday brings me fear of a different kind. When I was 12, I was diagnosed with Graves' disease (hyperthyroidism+high blood pressure) and my doctor told my mom that I wouldn't live to see 20. So naturally this lead to a lot of dumb choices. The night before my 20th b-day, I put my first child to bed, kissed her, stared at her for about 30 minutes, and then wrote out a letter for someone to give her when she was older enough to read because I was preparing myself to not wake up. Well, I woke up the next morning and I cried, so thankful I was still alive. Every year since then, I have been terrified to go to sleep the night before, and I am always so careful and mild with my girls, because I want their last memories of me to be good ones. Logically, by now, I know I'm going to wake up. But the fear is still so real. SO yesterday, now 28, I decided to do something different. Instead of dwelling on the fact that I'm still alive-I decided to spend the day LIVING. I bleached my hair myself, I gave myself a mani-pedi and a facial, and I spent almost the whole day binge-watching an old anime show that I've loved since I was a teen. My kids were in the room with me, and we spent a lovely day relaxing and pampering. My 2yr old brushed my hair and my 8 year old told me all about her new favorite show. I ignored my phone, all except to take pictures and play some games (and to thank everyone on social media for the bday wishes) and just spent the time loving my very sleepy hubby and our beautiful daughters. I think it was honestly the best birthday I've had in a very, very long time.