Suggestions for Fortune Cookie Fortunes

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This is actually something I started doing for my daughter when I packed her school lunch. I always slipped in a "fortune" like she'd have if she went out for Chinese food. Sometimes they had "real" advice. Other times, I'd just slip in something silly just because. Here are some of mine. Feel free to comment with your own. -Just because the sample is free doesn't mean the calories don't count. -Abraham Lincoln never took a bad selfie -If you look up at the sky on a clear night, you can see God mooning you. -If a friend asks you to borrow a shovel and sample of your DNA, just say no. -Some people live vicariously through their children because being a parent is the only worthwhile thing they did. -Some people don't have a disease until they read about it or see it on TV. -Wedgies are a bully's way of saying "you matter." -A watched worm doesn't get eaten by the early bird. -If you worship money as your God then the IRS is your religion's version of the Anti-Christ. -A test score does not define who you are. Whether or not you studied for the test does.