Getting away will not make the MS go away

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Where I go I have a ton of bagage.... Well Today I had my bed moved over to the side of the room where the computer is. My legs would not stop jumping while sitting in my office chair. I so tried of all this pain, and of my body doing as it pleases. They keep telling me there is medicine out there for some of the things I am going through. I sure hope so, as I really do not want to live this way. There are a few new things the swallowing, I seem to be choking on water. Pills about kill me. I will ask the doctor if it is okay to crush them and take them. I know that there are some pills you cannot do that to. I must be in a full blown flare up, I am hurting all over the place. When they ask me what my pain level is I would have to say a 10+ I have tried to go to sleep a few times now, with no luck. It is hard for me to talk to people I know right now, they ask me how I am doing today… and I want to say THE SAME as yesterday only today lets add….. (the new symptom ) Therefore, I find myself saying, “ok” when I really want to say I feel like crap… People think that all I need to do is get away. They do not understand going somewhere and having my body jumping or my sight going, is not a pleasant thing for me. That for me to go somewhere by the time I get there all I want to do is climb into bed and go to sleep. I am scared that if things do not get under control some I am not going to make it this qt at school that I am going to have to take time off. All the things I have to take with me right now to just go and visit someone over night makes me feel like I am moving in. It is as bad as packing up 3 kids and taking them to visit family. Then there is what if I forget something. It can take me all day to pack as I have to go over the list many times to make sure I have everything. Compression vest/socks/c-pap/cane/meds/diabetic supplies/wheel chair just in case/all the stuff for my Lymphedema lotions and tape/ then the stuff to take care of my feet, braces. Now we can think of clothes. See me going to someone house for the weekend is all day event. Then there is the travel time even if they come and get me, sitting in a car for an hour is very hard on my legs causing me added pain. Okay so now I am there and they all want to talk and show me this or that, and all I want to do is go and lay down. Then there is the next day of questions and me trying to explain what is going on and good intention people that care about me telling me what I should and talking to me like I do not know how to take care of me. Then the next day it is time to go home, I will spend the morning making sure I have everything for what a few hours of company at someone else’s home. I have just spent the weekend packing and unpacking and repacking to just come home all worn out. Getting away will not make the MS go away nor will I come home feeling better then I did before I left. If that was the case more people with MS would go to someone else home every weekend.