how to be a dare friend
September 12, 2006 10:59am CST
sometimes people use you and take advantage of your kindness. How would you be a dare friend withot holding back?
• United States
5 Jan 07
I like to think that I would still be a kind and dear friend but the reality of the matter is that sometimes we have to walk away from people who take advantage of us. It doesn't help us to feel good about ourselves and it isn't even mentally healthy to keep friends who only want to use us. I strongly believe that friendship is a mutual thing. Friendship is about give and take on both sides, compromise is a big part of friendship. Friendship is not about give and give while the other takes and takes, that isn't a friendship, that's a usership. I was in a supposed friendship like that and I didn't see it for a long time. I thought that we were best friends. Yes, I knew that I was the one who gave everything, paid for everything, always did the driving in my car and yes, I did know that I was paying her rent too but she was "helping" me out with my internet business [supposedly!] so I thought we were helping each other. When I finally got tired of paying for everything and giving her everything and paying her for "so-called" work, she tossed me out like a dirty tissue and went on to use other people instead. And for some bizarre reason, SHE hates me, says I did her wrong [tells everyone that] and says that I stole from her. I don't get it at all. I really believed with all my heart that she was my best friend and I loved her in spite of everything that she was, everything that she did but now, I think she never existed. The person I thought was there never was. So, once I began holding back on giving her everything, I was no longer a "good" friend. So I have to say that I want to still reach out and help people that are my friends but now I am more cautious about how much I give and I do rather expect some reciprocation back from them too. Like I said, friendship is a mutual thing, 50 - 50 give and take, not a one way thing. I try to offer kindness first but once its tossed back in your face, it's better to just walk away.