Being a caregiver
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
United States
June 15, 2020 5:29pm CST
My father and I are so much alike it can be frightening, and while I am blessed to have him I cannot deny that being a caregiver is draining. He has Parkinson's, Meniere's disease, and in late February underwent a major back surgery. Thankfully he had DBS surgery several years ago to help control and slow the advancement of Parkinson's (ask me if you're unfamiliar with DBS because it will probably blow your mind), but since he's had back troubles last summer he has needed around the clock care. Due to Covid getting him into rehabilitation centers after surgery was difficult, and we are still trying to get at home PT. I work from home to help take care of him, and again, I wouldn't trade having him for anything. I'm just being honest that caregiving is draining in every imaginable way, and I have no in-person support. Can anyone relate? Just for the record, my Dad has done amazingly well to have Parkinson's for 16 years, and his fight every day inspires me.
8 people like this
7 responses
@CarolDM (203449)
• Nashville, Tennessee
15 Jun 20
@ViolaceousCuriosity Trying is all any of us can do. You are welcome.
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
15 Jun 20
Self-care is definitely tricky, but I'm trying. I'm not often successful, but I try. haha. My friends are all spread out across the country, but they try to remind me to do that. Thanks for reminding me as well.
1 person likes this
@zoe316 (396)
• Cebu City, Philippines
16 Jun 20
I was once a Caregiver to my Dad also. He had a hip injury and he is too old and weak for surgery that's why he suffered pain and became bedridden. I watched over my Dad ffor only 2 days, I became sick also because I have Scoliosi s I am very small woman and can't lift my Dad when need to change diaper. My body surrender though I wanted to take care him. It was very difficult time for me and my sister beacuse we're both not physically fit to take care our Dad. I felt guilty that I cannot watched over my Dad, but God knows I am very sick also.
1 person likes this
@zoe316 (396)
• Cebu City, Philippines
17 Jun 20
@ViolaceousCuriosity thanks for being there to listen .. latety my late Dad always appeared in my dreams.. What do you think is the interpretation of this dream?
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
16 Jun 20
God bless you and your family. I can tell you have so much love for each other, and I wish only the best for all of you. I, too, struggle with my own health issues, so I understand the guilt of not being able to do everything you want for your Dad. I'm sure he knows you love him, though. I'm here if you want to talk.
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
17 Jun 20
@zoe316 I think there could be many interpretations. It depends on what is happening in the dreams, really, but I like to think that we are either dealing with some unresolved issues we had in our relationship with the deceased...or for some it could be a message that the deceased is trying to say that they are okay and you don't have to worry and such.
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
15 Jun 20
I appreciate that very much! Yes, the American healthcare system is wretched! My father worked his entire life, paid taxes, was/is an upstanding citizen, and he had worked enough years with the same company to retire early...but he wanted to keep working until Meniere's disease forced him into disability retirement. Now the American healthcare system is letting him down, which is no shocker.
@Janet357 (75651)
•
15 Jun 20
I can relate. Though I did not take care of my grandma, as she had a caregiver, but i could see all the things, her caregiver, who is also my aunt, did for her. She pooped in her bed, threw her diaper around when she had tantrums, telling the neighbors we were killing her lol, it was exhausting to be honest.
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
15 Jun 20
Oh wow, I feel for your aunt and you...and your grandma. It can all be so stressful and heartbreaking.
@jayanth_77 (7180)
• India
16 Jun 20
You dad is indeed a fighter and is managing the disease really well with your love and care.
1 person likes this
@jayanth_77 (7180)
• India
16 Jun 20
@ViolaceousCuriosity thanks for your appreciation.
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
16 Jun 20
Your words touch me deeply and are greatly appreciated. He amazes me how he pushes through and is so determined. It makes me think sometimes "What's my excuse?".
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
16 Jun 20
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. Bless you.
1 person likes this
@ViolaceousCuriosity (27)
• United States
15 Jun 20
Sorry about you having Meniere's. I have seen how tough it can be, but I am glad you have kept going! I got dealt with trauma-induced tinnitus and hearing loss from a car wreck almost 2 years ago, and while I know it's certainly not the same thing, at least I can somewhat relate to my father, which helps. Thank you for your kind words about my father.
