Feeling Guilty

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A close friend passed on, or like I prefer to say, rested. She has had what I would describe as a turbulent life ever since she stepped into this world. Both her parents passed on when she was still a toddler and she was an only child. Her grandparents raised her amidst other challenges (story for another day) and things did turn out okay, but given their old age, they too rested. She had truly suffered unimaginable loss in a short span of time. Add all that plus a terminal disease, and well it's just too much for one person to handle. Her situation worsened with time and the inevitable happened, she was barely 30 years old. Her final days were filled with so much pain and anguish. When I got the news of her passing, as heart broken as I was, I exhaled. I was sad, yet at the same time felt if she stayed any longer on this earth, it would torture her. Was I relieved? of course not, how can I be relieved when she too has left her 2 young children without a mother? Am I glad her suffering finally came to an end, sadly yes. She will not have to cry anymore over her illness or how inadequate she feels as a mother and as a human being or all the misfortunes she had faced her entire life. So I feel guilty, that I feel this way because at the end of the day, she is no longer here. The world will never have a taste of just how amazing she was. Such an incredible human being who suffered such a great deal. I feel awful that I am glad you have finally rested, but Rest well my friend