Jealousy

United States
November 30, 2006 7:35pm CST
How can I get my 13 year old not to be jealous of her 14 year old sister.I know sisters get some jealousy from each other. But my 13 year old daughter is too too jealous. All they do is fight.It is almost always my 13 year old who starts it. i tried to talk to her so does her dad, aunts.I think some of it has to do is because they don't look to much a like. and people always tell them you don't look like sisters. So i think looks is where it started. she would never admit it, but i know.They get pretty mean with each other. See my 14 y/o is much taller for her age and my 13 y/o is shorter then her age. My older one gets all the attention from everyone. at school they all like her they know her by name, and evrybody wants to be her friend. but my 13 y/o is know to be as her sister. But not by her own name.She does not have a best friend yet and she does not have much friends at all. because her sis has a really good bestfriend these two past years. It's gotting worse.She opened up to me one time and told me I want to be my sisters beat friend. and asked why can't I be my sisters best friend. I told her you can , but have to change the way you think. You are you and she is she. everyone is special in there own way. You don't have to look like her. You be your own person.So please tell me what else I can do.
2 responses
@mridig (202)
• India
8 Jan 07
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. The word jealousy stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), and from the Greek word for "ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast"). Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been reported in every culture and in many forms where researchers have looked. [1] [2] [3] It has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and in adults over 65 years old. [4] [5] [6] [7] It has been an enduring topic of interest for scientists, artists, and theologians. Psychologists have proposed several models of the processes underlying jealousy and have identified individual differences that influence the expression of jealousy. Sociologists have demonstrated that cultural beliefs and values play an important role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. Biologists have identified factors that may unconsciously influence the expression of jealousy. Artists have explored the theme of jealousy in photographs, paintings, movies, songs, plays, poems, and books. Theologians have offered religious views of jealousy based on the scriptures of their respective faiths. Despite its familiarity, however, people define jealousy in different ways. Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive jealousy itself; and many feel they don't possess effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy. [8]
• United States
23 Jan 07
thanks for your reply, Ya, ... I could see he was not using his own words.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Try to find her real talent and make coments about it. Help her to find her real passion and support her. She needs to be seen and special.
• United States
23 Jan 07
My daughter is very special to me, but I think she does not see it. I think because maybe,I don't show it to her. Because of the way she acts. she does not let anyone get close to her. and when we do, she starts doing the same thing over and over again. I am out of words. i am just so tired, it is getting even worse then before. thanks anyways.