What do you think of creamation?

United States
December 1, 2006 12:05am CST
My mother in law wanted to be creameted. Then to be sprinkled out at the mountains. We honored her wishes. But, I got sick when I saw the ashes. It wasn't what I expected it to be. I felt so ill. My legs felt like rubber, and I could not touch it. Is that normal? Have any of you experienced that?
7 people like this
24 responses
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
1 Dec 06
My dad wanted to be creamated with his ashes spread out in a lake that he liked to go fishing in. But in some places that is against the law, something about a health hazard or something. So we kept him in an urn and now he sits on my brothers shelf. Nobody really wanted to take him home. Now I have heard some families fight to take the urn home .Everybody responds to this type of situation differently. I'm not an expert but I think your reaction was normal. I am sorry for your loss.
3 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 06
Thank you for your response and sharing with me. Thank you for your care. If you don't mind me asking, is it easy to have the urn around you? I think that may be very comforting? I too am sorry for your loss of your dad. I lost both my parents and brother. But, they were burried.
3 people like this
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
1 Dec 06
The urn is at my brothers house, so i amnot around it very much. Its kind of weird. I think I like the fact that he is here but I am sad because we didn't fulfill his wishes. And we could have done it because nobody would have known, but none of us wanted to.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 06
I appreciate you telling me that, as I know it hurts and was not easy. Thank you. Well, we do have to obey the laws, so you cannot help it. But, your father is alive in spirit, and he knows this. Wishing you much joy and happiness today and in the future. God bless you.
3 people like this
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I have chosen to be cremated, and yes I have had to sprinkle ashes before, but never had any effect like that. I just could not believe how heavy they were, as I expected them to be lighter. You might have been very close to your Mother in law and this how you responded.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Yes, we were close. But, it was the bone fragments that made me queesy. I just thought it would be like white soft powder. It was grey, and heavy. Thank you for responding to my post.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 06
Cremation is definitely a personal choice. It's not something I would choose for myself, but I certainly respect anyone else who chooses to do so. Your reaction sounds very normal to me. Obviously this is not a situation you are faced with every day, and I'm sure you were feeling very overwhelmed by the whole thing. You have my condolences for your loss (I lost my mother in law to cancer in 1999), and don't feel bad about your reaction. You are only human after all! :)
2 people like this
@peizli (1000)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I haven't been in that situation. But I could imagine the experience would have been quite surreal. My grandad was cremated and it was I who suggested that they got sprinkled at sea, as he had a passion with the ocean. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend, as I live in a different country, but would have done had I been over there.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 06
Thank you for telling me that. We did what she wanted, but, it was so unnerving. And I saw bits of bone, and it really freaked me out. I thought it was going to be fine white powder, and it wasn't.
1 person likes this
@misskatonic (3727)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I think it's a person's personal choice. I wouldn't do it myself, but if someone close to me wanted it done... well, I guess I'd honor their wishes. I think I'd probably have the same reaction as you, honestly.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 06
Thank you for responding. We did what she wanted, but it really was not what I expected.
2 people like this
@bobster (219)
2 Dec 06
I feel its a better way. you can be scattered somewhere you loved or be carried around by any one you have left behind
2 people like this
@abhi07 (186)
• India
30 Dec 06
I think its normal in your case, out here in India all hindus are to be cremated and their ashes spread in the river ganges, by virtue of our religion. It does make you feel sick for quite sometime after the whole thing is over.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 06
Thank you for sharing that, and understanding. I give you a + rating for that. Blessings.
@chua98 (677)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 06
depends on individual. so will get nervous and some will feel normal.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 06
thank you
@TJtwix (49)
2 Dec 06
we all act and feel different its a very difficult time, you fullfield her wish. its still an emotional time for you, dont be too hard on yor self!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Thank you for responding. Wishing you a great holiday season.
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I have nothing against creamation. I never had to experience that before either. I still don't know if I want to be creamated or put underground. I'll let me family decide when I'm gone.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 06
Well, you might want to think a bit more about it, as they would want to do your wishes.
@Jshean20 (14367)
• Canada
1 Dec 06
I think it makes sense that one would feel ill seeing the ashes, I know that I would. I personally don't want to be creamated just because I can't stand the thought of it...
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 06
It's just that it wasn't white powder, as I thought. When I saw bone fragments, I got so sick and weak in the legs. I could not touch the box. My husband and I prayed first, and he had to do it. That was her wishes, so that's what we did. I just wondered if my reaction was normal or not.
2 people like this
• India
30 Dec 06
well i duno buddy sorry....
• United States
31 Dec 06
Thank you.
• Canada
8 Dec 06
girl, i know wat u mean .people do tend to get weak at those times when u loose someone whom u loved all your life.
• United States
8 Dec 06
Thank you for responding and understanding. Appreciate your reply.
@blueman (16513)
• India
8 Dec 06
i think cremation is good, when the world is getting over populated and there isn't enough place to live.
• United States
8 Dec 06
True, and thanks for your reply.
• United States
8 Dec 06
I wouldn't want to be creamated. I don't really want to be buried either. Since I have no choice, i'll take burial though!
• United States
8 Dec 06
I want to be creamated. But, I didn't know what to expect with my mother in law, and it was very un nerving.
@sandie61 (2359)
• United States
7 Dec 06
my husbands parents were both cremated but that was before me and my husband were together so I was not involved in it. my parents were both buried. I prefer a mausoleum but its probably very expensive.
• United States
7 Dec 06
Yes, the masuleum is a lot of money, but takes up less space. I did her wishes, and had no problem with it, except in this state they will not do the sprinkling, they hand you the box, and it was very emotional. Thanks for answering my postings.
@Albone (1340)
• Italy
6 Dec 06
i want to be creamated when i'll die... i think its better than to be buried... like ash i can fly in the sky and then i'll became part of the world!
• United States
7 Dec 06
I agree, so do I. But, in my state they will not scatter you. They give you a cardboard box with ashes and bone fragments, and it is an awful experience to go through that from someone you loved.
@Desdemona (1305)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
I want to be creamated. Geez, no way I want bugs eating me!!! I don't think its gross, however it is all in your head. I have heard of people snorting humans ashes before. Now that is gross! I still have "someone's" ashes sitting on my desk. I have a problem of letting go but eventually when I come to terms, I will sprinkle her into the forest like she wants.
• United States
7 Dec 06
I agree with you, but, when they hand you the box of ashes and bone fragments of someone you love, it is a horrible experience.
• United States
6 Dec 06
I know that had to be very hard to do. I personally do not want to be creamated, but my husband does and we have been going around and around about it. If he goes before me I want to remember him as he was not a pile of ashes! It already creeps me out, how will I ever handle it when it happens? I tease him and say he is just cheap! heehehehee but it really does bother me.
• United States
3 Dec 06
i felt the same way when we did the same for my husbands uncle so you are not alone there
• United States
3 Dec 06
Thank you. I was alone with my husband, and it was our first time to ever do that. It was the bone fragments that got to me. I kept seeing her in my mind, and then looking at that. My legs were so weak.