Breakfast Of Heartbreak (MyLot Exclusive #897)

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Drusilla, my Agent, claims that I haven't written anything since Saturday. Imagine for a moment that it's true. Rather than the Fake, Unfair, Godless, Unconstitutional, Tyrannical, UnAmerican piece of LameStream Drivel that it actually is. Saturday was barely ten minutes ago. Is a break hardly long enough to smoke two cigarettes in, taken by a chronic workaholic who routinely produces more by six AM than most people do all day anything to get excited and angry about (Even if it did happen and it totally didn't?)? No. No sane, rational, well-adjusted person would be upset about it. Hence Dru's reaction. In many ways, she reminds me of Pepsi. And IHOP (International House Of Pancakes). Because they have done what no sane, rational, well-adjusted person (Some people say Corporations are not people and if you're one of them, well, I'll just remind you what my friend Mitt said, “Corporations are people, my friend … of course they are." That is Game, Set and Match. Checkmate. Discussion over) would do. They got together and created Pepsi Maple Syrup Cola. And then decided that no one can try it. Except for 2000 people who manage to win a dumb Social Media contest. Needless to say, I won't be reviewing Pepsi Maple Syrup Cola. Because I never win anything. Besides that, I'm barely a multi-trillionaire, so I won't be able to afford any of the cans that many of the winners will put on E-Bay for thousands of dollars each. This ain't no Breakfast Of Champions. It's a Breakfast Of Heartbreak. #ShowUsYourStack ************** IHOP and Pepsi Made a Maple Syrup Cola — Will It Pair Well with Pancakes? Here's how to score your own taste of the limited-edition flavor.