Taking advantage
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50973)
Holiday, Florida
April 11, 2022 12:31am CST
For a few yrs. after my husband died, I tried to hold on to our beautiful house we was buying. I worked as many days and jobs as I could get. A friend of ours asked if their 18 year old daughter could stay with me till she found a job. At first, I was happy to have the company. I gave her the master bedroom so I wouldn't be bothering her with my late night wanderings around the house. It even had it's own bathroom. Her grandmother was supposed to come take her around to look for a job. They were moving back to another state.
Anyway, in 6 months she was there, she got her grandma to take her looking maybe 3 or 4 times. I would go to work and come home with dishes in the sink and her back in her room watching cartoons. About the second month she was there, I came into my kitchen one night to find a guy fixing sandwiches and drinks. He explained he was her boyfriend. Next day I told her it wasn't right for me not to know someone else was in my house that I hadn't been introduced to at least.
That next week she stayed at her boyfriends a couple of nights without telling me not to worry she would be gone. She explained then it wouldn't happen again because his parents didn't like her. hhhmm.
Third month she was there, I got her a part time job working/helping with one of my clients house. Her grandma agreed to take her there and I would pick her up. That worked for about a week. One day, the lady called and said she let the girl go because she had missed 3 days and they was getting someone else.
Okay, so next she stayed gone 3 days from my house. Just disappeared. I called her boyfriends and they said hadn't seen her and he was gone to comic convention.
Called her parents and told them. After all her clothes was still in her room. They said don't worry they would call her. I said she's not answering her phone. After 3 days she showed up and acted like it was no big deal. I told her pack her things cause I was calling her parents to come get her and give me back my key.
That weekend her dad came and helped carry her things out and had the gall to say to me that I should be ashamed throwing a kid out of my house ! They never spoke to me again.
Was I wrong?
trying to load a photo of my house I finally lost.
18 people like this
18 responses
@Juliaacv (48654)
• Canada
11 Apr 22
I would have insisted that the come on a very short trial basis to begin with, and after she did not find any gainful employment, she would have been returning to her parents' home.
I find it awfully strange that her parents did not object to her going to stay with you for so long. Maybe they had had enough of her behaviour.
I hope that she has done better in the years that have passed and that she has made something of her life.
4 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
yes I learned my lesson. I don't know how it all turned out. It was 20 yrs ago and like I said they never spoke to me again. I heard once from a mutual friend that she had gotten pregnant by that same boyfriend I met and married him. I'm sure his parents lived the nightmare that was. 
At least I tried to teach her.
At least I tried to teach her.4 people like this
@prashu228 (37525)
• India
11 Apr 22
you are not wrong , you gave enough time
her parents should take care of her not you
They would have taught her how to behave when staying in others house
so sorry they never spoke to you
4 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
I know. I have just always cared about teaching and taking care of those younger then myself and when this girl was 11 yrs old we got along well. She loved to stay with me a couple times when John had gone on business trips and I didn't want to be alone. I don't know what happened to her. 
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
It's fine with me they never spoke to me again. I don't need friends like that.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (135135)
• Roseburg, Oregon
12 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 No you do not need friends like that.0
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
11 Apr 22
Nope, you weren't wrong. I wouldn't have put up with it after the first month. I've had people take advantage of me and told them to get out after the first month.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
I was trying so hard to teach her but her parents had already done too much damage with her.
1 person likes this
@NatsuYeung (264)
•
11 Apr 22
in 6 mos. she was staying with you if she hadn't found a job yet, she should have helped you around the house.
You have been kind to have her stay that long. A kid at 18 though, we sometimes expect them to be mature and responsible but sadly they aren't someone should have educated her on the proper behavior when staying over at someone else's house and the reasons behind these.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
11 Apr 22
Her parents should have taken her with them instead of asking a friend to take on their responsibilities.
4 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
@DaddyEvil yes they pawned her off on her aunt I heard later. No wonder she was so troublesome. I tried.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
@NatsuYeung, she had stayed with me a few days a couple of times when she was about 11 yrs old and had seemed more mature back then. I could hardly believe this was the same girl.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
The rules wasn't my biggest problem. It was her staying out over night and not telling me she was going to and worrying me and her laziness.
1 person likes this
@MrDenata (12196)
• Indonesia
11 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 i see, i got your point. Glad that shes gone now
1 person likes this
@kareng (55615)
• United States
11 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 Sad and the same story with a lot of the younger folks these days. They want everything handed to them on the silver platter.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
That too I couldn't understand. I know she was made to do a lot around their house when she was growing up. I guess she just liked being lazy away from them.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71678)
• United States
15 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 wow what terrible people. You were lucky to be rid of them after that honestly.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Apr 22
yes it was such an insult after all I had done for them. I wondered how I could have been so blind to their stupidity and thought of them as friends. I'm glad I finally broke ties with them for good.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
Problem is, I kept thinking I could help her get a start in life. I didn't know how bad they had messed her up in her childhood.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (96449)
• Marion, Ohio
11 Apr 22
I would not have kept her that long.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
I honestly kept thinking she just needed some guildance .
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118813)
• Gainesville, Florida
12 Apr 22
You were not wrong at all. After all, she was a guest in your house, and the expectation should have been that your rules were your rules, whether she liked them or not. Sounds like she was very selfish and ungrateful and unmotivated anyway, so you didn't need to be dealing with that long-term anyway.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Apr 22
@moffittjc I kind of wonder how she turned out. Last I heard 15 yrs ago, she had married that boyfriend,had a baby and they were living with his parents that didn't like her. So sadly I guess her parents were finally able to pawn her off.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Apr 22
true. I don't know why I felt inclined to take on teaching someone elses grown kid how to live right. I think it's because her mom reminded me of mine the way she treated her and I thought I could make her life better. But it didn't work out that way. I was still struggling with grief from the loss of hubby too and maybe it was because they had been friends of us both for so long. thanks friend
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118813)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 At least you tried, so give yourself credit for that.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Apr 22
I know. She had changed from the sweet helpful 11 yr. old that had stayed with me a couple times while John was on a business trip. I just kept hoping that one was still in her somewhere.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (247216)
• United States
12 Apr 22
@bunnybon7 Such a shame it wasn’t.
1 person likes this
@JESSY3236 (19057)
• United States
12 Apr 22
No you wasn't wrong. I would have done the same thing.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (158689)
• United States
11 Apr 22
I wouldn't have let her stay as long as you did. I would have been sick of it much earlier!
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
I can be very patient with some things like thinking a person might just need understanding. As you can tell with all the things I put up with in husbands. anyway, I just kept thinking she would change her ways.
anyway, I just kept thinking she would change her ways.1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157907)
• United States
11 Apr 22
You were kind and reasonable and concerned. Not wrong.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83237)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
11 Apr 22
Wowwww shameless thick face. You better had thrown her the time your sink was full of dirty dishes. You had tolerated her bad behaviour well. And her parents condemned you as guilty. You better had charged her stay. They're ingrate.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
true. I could not believe he actually said that to me about throwing his 18 yrs old daughter out for taking to do as she pleased in my home with so much disregard to me.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 22
she used to be so much nicer and even more mature when she was 11 yrs old. She stayed with me a few times while John was on a business trip. I have no idea why she changed to like a whole different person.
