Collective Losses
By divalounger
@divalounger (5849)
United States
April 14, 2022 6:32pm CST
Over the past number of months, I have thought increasingly about grief. Two and a half years, give or take, of Covid. Loss piled on top of loss.
Death, disease, long covid, financial losses, excess deaths, missed proms, missed birthdays, holidays spent on Zoom. In a therapist's office, these losses begin to look a lot like PTSD--post-traumatic stress disorder. Collective trauma suffered by millions with no clear endpoint.
How do we find our way through? Some act out in ways that they might not otherwise choose. Unruly airline passengers, people spitting at others, road rage. Who thought those would be on our collective bingo cards?
Others imbibe, ingest and try to deaden anxiety, depression, and sadness. Still others cloak themselves in religion as a panacea. Some just feel the weight of loss so heavy, they are unable to move, laugh, or feel again.
Some had acted as though Covid was not a big deal. Some act now as though it is over. We may be done with Covid, but I doubt that it is done with us. I doubt that BA2 will cause as deadly a surge as Omicron did in the U.S., but it is coming, and other variants will undoubtedly follow.
Learning to live with this disease necessitates coming to terms with the reality of what our lives will look like--changed, grieving, moving on.
We want to move on with our lives--pick up where we left off, but so many of us have lives so changed that moving on seems like a Herculean task. There is no going back.
How do we move forward through a future marked with so much uncertainty hard-wired in? I don't know the answer, but I think about it in odd moments--making it up one day at a time.
13 people like this
12 responses
@Vikingswest1 (6305)
• United States
14 Apr 22
We move forward just as our ancestors moved forward and past horrible conditions, disease and wars.
We adapt. We move on. Another calamity is always just around the corner. It always has been.
The truth is, we are in better shape than previous generations.
3 people like this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
14 Apr 22
We don't have much experience with that--not in our lifetimes--refugees do--but for most of us--not so much--hence all the acting out
3 people like this
@Vikingswest1 (6305)
• United States
15 Apr 22
@divalounger
Acting out was popular pre-Covid. I will be the first to agree that many adults show the maturity of a middle schooler, but Covid has little to do with it. Society has transformed into snotty little brats that didn't have discipline or direction in their youth.
Covid didn't cause all the acting out, it just magnified it.
2 people like this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
15 Apr 22
@Vikingswest1 Perhaps--although I don't recall passengers acting out on airplanes to this level before--
4 people like this
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
15 Apr 22
We find ways to adapt as we always do.
2 people like this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
15 Apr 22
I am curious to see what that adaptation will look like.
2 people like this
@sulynsi (2671)
• Canada
15 Apr 22
For myself, the conditions we see are ongoing confirmation of the 'sign' Jesus spoke of.
Your mention of road rage, unruly passengers and such made me think of what Paul referred to when he spoke of,
'the last days' saying they would be, 'critical times hard to deal with'.
He added; 'men will be .... not open to any agreement, ...without self-control, fierce'. What does that remind you of?
It's rather like reading the evening news.
It is no wonder, then, that people are also looking for ways to escape - as you say, to 'imbibe, ingest and try to deaden the anxiety depression and sadness.' We all know, though, that while these methods may provide temporary relief, they are like a bandaid on a gangrenous leg. They can often exacerbate the problem.
The conditions we see in the world cannot be fixed by human efforts - but many refuse to believe it.
Jesus said,
'That is why I speak to them by the use of illustrations; for looking, they look in vain, and hearing, they hear in vain, nor do they get the sense of it. And the prophecy of Isaiah is being fulfilled in their case. It says: ‘You will indeed hear but by no means get the sense of it, and you will indeed look but by no means see. For the heart of this people has grown unreceptive, and with their ears they have heard without response, and they have shut their eyes, so that they might never see with their eyes and hear with their ears and get the sense of it with their hearts and turn back and I heal them.'
2 people like this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
15 Apr 22
I am not personally an end-times or religious advocate, but I see your point.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
18 Apr 22
I agree--that we have to move on, but I wonder what that will look and feel like.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (156584)
• United States
15 Apr 22
We have been fortunate as our lives were hardly changed due to COVID-19. I hope things improve for you.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (156584)
• United States
15 Apr 22
@divalounger Yes, it has been tragic for many people.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
6 May 22
I think about it often too. But since "it is what it is"and nothing can change the past, I try to think of better things coming any day. I drag myself out of depression any way possible and just pray my friends and loved ones can also. 
@kaylachan (57903)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
15 Apr 22
That's all you can do. Take each day one at a time. Take life as it comes and remember that each day is a chance at a fresh start. That's all you can really do. Covid really had no effect on me, but it's never really going to be "gone" you just have to learn to live your lives as you have before. Under the right conditions literally anything can claim our lives. COVID has made us forget this.
2 people like this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
15 Apr 22
I guess I don't think there is a "going back" option --so I am not sure exactly how I will navigate this yet.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86780)
• United States
3 May 22
It is sad and overwhelming at times all of it
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
4 May 22
It does feel like a lot most of the time--I am not sure when this will all end, but I am certain of one thing--this virus still has a lot of evolutionary room to mutate--so we will see which way the mutations will go.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
5 May 22
@RebeccasFarm I think you are right about that--our grandkids will be getting vaccinated against it
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86780)
• United States
5 May 22
@divalounger Oh yes it is here for good as far as I can tell
@DeborahDiane (40058)
• Laguna Woods, California
28 Apr 22
@divalounger - Thank you for writing this. The past few years have been hard on me. I have lost neighbors and family members to Covid. I have lost friends to cancer. I currently have one of my closest friends in the hospital who went into the hospital with Covid in January. She is now in a skilled nursing home. She cannot do anything for herself. She cannot walk, shower, or feed herself. For her, Covid will never be over. It is going to be hard for a lot of us to pick up the pieces and move forward.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
29 Apr 22
I think so too. I also think that for some reason, people are not as empathetic as they could be toward those who have been affected by Covid. I would like to think that we all the ability to be empathetic and help others--there are so many people out there right now who are suffering.
1 person likes this
@divalounger (5849)
• United States
29 Apr 22
@DeborahDiane I have been thinking a lot about empathy lately. It seems like a prerequisite to community and it is community that brings people together. I am not sure how we can get there from where we are right now, but we need both community and empathy in bucketloads.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40058)
• Laguna Woods, California
29 Apr 22
@divalounger - I have been so disappointed in the people who have made a fuss over wearing a mask or getting a vaccination. They have put other people at risk, and they have been thoughtless towards people who have health problems that would make Covid especially dangerous for them, like my friend whose life has been destroyed.
I do not think I realized how many people have no empathy towards others and could, in fact, be cruel. It is very sad and has lowered my opinion of certain American groups that have been especially vocal about refusing masks and vaccines. I do not think I will ever look at some of those people again and see them as being moral, ethical, spiritual or caring. It doesn't matter what you preach. It matters what you do.
