Funeral today it has been an emotional day

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The past few days I've been kind of in a rut. I mentioned that a good friend of the family died and I can honestly say that this hit me harder than I thought possible. I went to his funeral today and I have cried more than I thought imaginable. This one hurt. He was only 45 and had two kids. I keep thinking about how unfair the world is. He was such a good man and today the community showed up. The church was packed. This man touched everyone in the community. We have always considered him and his wife and kids family. My mom and I babysat the kids from the time they were babies until they started school and have seen them off and on since. That connection didn't leave when we stopped babysitting them. They've been family to us ever since and when I say this hurts I mean this hurts. I've cried more over this man than I did most of my biological family that passed. Almost no one had a bad word to say about him. He had a heart of gold and I keep going back to some of our last words with him and thinking about how unjust the world is. He should be getting to live a long full life with his wife and kids while there are terrible people who get to live to be in their 80s. He went out running and played sports and coached his kids sports teams he lived a good healthy life but cancer took him way too early. My son was on his son's soccer team when they were little and he coached and he was so patient with my son. He used to joke that my son hated him because my son was afraid of him but to be fair my son was afraid of everyone at that age but it didn't help that this man was 6'7". His funeral was hard. I didn't go to the visitation or the burial and luncheon after because of other obligations but I wanted to make sure I showed up to something. I know his wife and kids didn't know I was there but I still wanted to go and pay my last respects. My heart broke for them. When I met them 15 years ago I never saw any of our lives going the way they have. I feel blessed to have known them. I may not have had a big impact on their lives but they had a big one on mine. They knew so many people and he was loved by so many people. For his visitation, I guess the car line up was over a mile long. He was just so loved. I'm glad his wife and kids have a big support system they are going to need it in the months and years ahead. I just hope everyone keeps being there for them. To see them walking down in front of his casket broke me. I hate that I can't do more for them. That man fought harder than anyone should ever have to fight to stay with his family only for it to end this way and that makes me angry and upset but I know he wouldn't want anyone to feel that way. I am just trying to process everything. Today just made everything more real. I can't and don't want to imagine what they are going through right now. The last time I remember talking to him my mom had asked him how everyone was and I remember him saying "what I can say is as far as I know everything is ok". It was very cryptic and we had no idea that he was fighting cancer. They tried to keep it quiet for a while but when everyone found out the whole city tried to help with fundraisers and support. I am happy to at least know that he knew how loved he was. I just wish he could see everyone that was there for him. He was the kind of guy who gave endlessly and asked for nothing in return. To say this man was loved is an understatement. I just wish he would have won his battle as does everyone who knew him. You never know what life has in store and I hate that he didn't get more time. Part of me wishes I would have reached out more but at the same time, I knew they needed space during this time. They had and have so many people who love them. I was a small part on their journey but I will always consider them family. I feel there were a lot of people who considered them family. There was never a time when we were out and about that we saw them that they didn't stop and talk to us or ask how our son was doing. I am glad that his wife and kids are being supported by so many people and I hope it never stops. I think knowing his family was supported was the only thing that made this easier for him. I still want to do something special for them I just don't know what yet I've really been thinking about things I can do for them.