The Good, Bad, and Ugly of having kids
By vanny
@vandana7 (98929)
India
October 21, 2022 12:51am CST
I love babies. I love kids till they are about 5 to 7 years old. That is till they do not confirm that I am NOT their family member. LOL
They smell good, thanks to Johnson & Johnson, as well as many other fragrant products. They look good ...even their peeing and pooping is not offensive. Their clothes are cute...pleasure to buy. So are toys fascinating.
The bad......... well, they grow up. They back answer, and they start picking fights. They don't study, or study well, and demand many things that are out of budget. A whole plethora of reasons...including untidy rooms and bad company.
The Ugly.... they make me feel I am selfish.
Why? Look...if I had a kid...the kid would spend about 2 hours traveling to and fro to school or office, bathing and eating, and attending to any vehicle issues such as cleaning or filling petrol.
He or she would spend 8 hours in the office, struggling to meet deadlines. I did that. And struggling for that promotion in this competition.
He or she spends 8 hours in the bed. Well that is true for smaller kids, for grown ups, the sex time comes within that. How long might that sex time be? 1 hour max? So 7 hours sleeping.
Effectively, the kid has only 7 hours on hand. To be happy.
Within that he or she goes through sorrows joys stress pain, and well take care of responsibilities like those of parents and children, worry about issues on which he or she has no control like environment, argue, fight...and many such things.
In other words, if we consider 1 hour of sex as pleasure...and optimistically think fifty percent of the remaining 7 hours as happy moments, we still bring a life into this world that is going to be indifferent or not too happy for 17 plus 3.5 hours. That is 20.5 hours! After all, I cannot control my child's dreams.
How then am I a good person if I am not able to assure 12 hours of happiness to even my own child?
There...the cat is out of bag...do I care for kids too much? I think so. Do I think bringing kids into world is not such a good thing? I think that too.
14 people like this
9 responses
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
23 Oct 22
Kids happen... one does not control that. Only way not to bring them to the world is by terminating them before birth, which I am not in favor of.
This good post explains about unhappy babies :) but I still don't get the selfish part!
2 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
23 Oct 22
@vandana7 Well, I will treat that as not-really-a-question 
Kids are a happy lot by nature. Adults might not be. We tend to pool our happiness by seeing others happy, so them being sad affects us too... Wanting them to be happy - that is not selfish....
Kids are a happy lot by nature. Adults might not be. We tend to pool our happiness by seeing others happy, so them being sad affects us too... Wanting them to be happy - that is not selfish....3 people like this
@vandana7 (98929)
• India
23 Oct 22
@hora_fugit Wanting them to be happy is not equal to making them happy. First is fiction second is fact.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98929)
• India
23 Oct 22
For every one somewhat happy person there are more than 10 unhappy ones around. That is why having kids is something like heads you lose, tails they win. Either way ... it does not make sense. Logically, can you say you are 50 percent happy with your waking life..I am not.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40890)
• Wapello, Iowa
23 Oct 22
You have hit many nails squarely on the head. For most people, life is not a gift, it's a terrible burden.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98929)
• India
23 Oct 22
How can people be so blind to the pain around them and even in their own lives or lives of loved ones? How can they be so optimistic that future will be better when things are not so in most of the cases? Who would have thought Russia would attack Ukraine, or COVID would trouble the world this much? How can people take so much for granted? To be optimistic is good, but realistic boundaries to that optimism are necessary too. I do understand kids yelling at parents. But I also feel sorry for parents because the society gives those boundaries...and they simply did not have guts to stand up for themselves. We don't trouble the weak, do we? They were weak.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40890)
• Wapello, Iowa
26 Oct 22
@vandana7 The weak are a very favorite target.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34405)
•
5 Nov 22
Yes, one thing is true about life, it has its ups and downs. It's how we navigate it (to the best of our ability) which can help smooth out those rough patches. As they say, nothing in life is guaranteed, although some think it is.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (159400)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Oct 22
You can only do the best you can. Give them love. House them and feed them. That's life. I think you may over do the hours on some of those areas.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159400)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Oct 22
@vandana7 .......I see what you are saying. Your posts are always so thought provoking.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98929)
• India
22 Oct 22
To think that dinosaurs didn't last, nor did Small pox virus, why must we think our genes will. In any event, what is so great about my genes? No Einstein or Da Vinci to be sure. LOL. No, I lack the need to perpetuate my genes. I fear the kind of ailments I would perpetuate.
2 people like this
@xander6464 (40890)
• Wapello, Iowa
23 Oct 22
@Fleura I totally agree. There's nothing selfish about not having kids.
2 people like this
@noni1959 (9883)
• United States
22 Oct 22
Girl, an hour maybe in a romance novel. I have three adult kids and 11 grandkids. So far, my grandkids study, get good grades, a couple graduated, work, etc. There are so many that have no respect and get away with too much since they are not allowed to be punished or parents don't care to teach manners. I like the ages from newborn to three the most. By four, they are learning their independence and the fits come a bit more. The worst ages for me are seven and 12. They go through some sort of change that tries the patience of adults.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (157018)
• United States
21 Oct 22
We chose not to have children and are quite happy with our choice.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98929)
• India
22 Oct 22
Linda, while old age does scare me, I do find many people angling ...sorta ..why don't you adopt my child, or why don't you write property to my child, or why don't you adopt me, we will look after you. And so on and so forth. Those who are genuinely good, refrain from such offers and help. So I am very curt with those who make such offers. If I want help, I will ask. If not, why make me feel helpless ..or feel sorry for me. It is you who is to be pitied because you seem to be saddled with what you want to get rid of, or find it to be a burden.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (157018)
• United States
22 Oct 22
@vandana7 That is so sad. People must not be happy with THEIR choices.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (43427)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
9 Nov 22
This is why some parents are strict and kids have to follow a schedule. Keeping a stick in hand doesn't hurt either. But there are many kids who do none of these things. They're good kids. I like these kind of kids. LOL
1 person likes this
@sathviksouvik (17982)
•
21 Oct 22
very interesting post Vanny. Happy dhanteras diwali laxmipuja kalipuja
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (34405)
•
5 Nov 22
Very true about babies growing up. It could even be applied to the animal kingdom as well. Kittens and puppies are cute and helpless, but when they grow up, they might become more difficult to handle..
But looking at it from another side, when they mature into adults, they just might fill you with pride at the wonderful job you did raising them. They might support you and help make things in life easier for you in old age and provide companionship to you to name a couple of positives.
In the end like many things in life's journey it comes down to one's choice. Not every "shoe" fits like a glove for everyone.
1 person likes this
