Has Spareing the ROD spoiled the child?? Is overindulgence the new abuse?

United States
December 1, 2006 3:57pm CST
As a child I was punished some would say brutally, some would say not enough. I have become a responsible adult with a moderate sense of self. I like nice things and My desires are filled before the desires of my child. I spare the rod however I use sensible punishments enforced with strict values. Many professionals have told me she is well mannered and well adjusted normal child despite 13 years with and then a divorce from an abusive husband. yet she talks back and is rude at home. I find that many children her age are not rude but present a sense of selfimportance I cannot stand. So I ask has sparing the rod spoiled the child?
1 response
@Tanya8 (1734)
• Canada
2 Dec 06
Hi there, I think that it's possible to eliminate back-talk without physical punishment. You just need to be matter of fact and refuse to deal with her when she speaks that way. If she wants you to do something for her, then tell her you won't do it, until she uses a nicer tone. If you're trying to get her to do something and she's rude, then choose something that you would normally do for and tell her that you aren't inclined to do whatever it is until she treats you in a more respectful manner. I think it's normal for teens to push a bit to find out what their boundaries are. Especially with the abusive relationship in the past, she's probably subconsciously double checking to make sure you are strong, and not willing to take disrespect from anyone. I'm not a fan of physical punishment, but with a teen, I think it's a particularly bad move. Not only is humiliating for them, but it can also lead to them fighting back and hurting their parents as they get bigger.