Some abused people become abusers
By Diana
@dya80dya (33642)
April 20, 2024 11:01am CST
Did you know this? I live with my parents. My mom has sometimes abusive behavior, she yells at me. Yesterday she said that she would hit me if I didn't leave the kitchen. My father offends her and his behavior is awful. I think she learned to be like him. But at least she sees that she has a problem. She apologizes and tries not to repeat her mistakes. I think that they both need therapy. My brother lives in a different town and he says that he doesn't come often because is tired of their conflicts. Children suffer the most when parents have such a relationship. I am not saying that all abused people become abusers, but some of them do. The best solution would be to have my own money and live alone. I will try my best to study and have a job.
8 people like this
9 responses
@RebeccasFarm (86833)
• United States
21 Apr
Yes they try to release the abuse onto another person..I understand.
Still, I am sorry you have to deal with this awful situation Diana.
Is there ever a way for you to get on your own, ever?
Is there ever a way for you to get on your own, ever?1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86833)
• United States
24 Apr
@dya80dya Yes I know you have stated this..I surely wish I had a lot of money to help you.
@kaylachan (58163)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Apr
It's a vicious cycle, especially ifthe abused sees the behavior as "normal". It's a good sign that your mom tries not to repeat past mistakes.
1 person likes this
@MattMeng (3438)
• Hangzhou, China
21 Apr
A very sad thing is that domestic violence can also occur through intergenerational transmission. Some children who were abused by their parents when they were young will also be subjected to domestic violence against their own children as they grow up.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (13004)
• Italy
20 Apr
Yes, being abused doesn't grant you the right to abuse others, unfortunately it's easier to play the victim role than work on oneself. It's good your mother is aware so she'd also be more likely to accept therapy if she had the opportunity. Do your best but don't be too hard on yourself. 
Then be careful of those who want to take advantage of your situation, by promising stuff. I've heard of stories of girls who went to live with their "boyfriends" to escape an abusive home environment, but in the new place things actually got worse.
Maybe you can find state housing options, in my country sometimes people with psichiatric issues get to live in apartments where they also receive support from social workers who help them with daily tasks and even find them jobs. It ain't great as you may have to share your apartment with others and there isn't much freedom, but at least you can safely leave your parents' home. I don't know if your country provides this though.
Then be careful of those who want to take advantage of your situation, by promising stuff. I've heard of stories of girls who went to live with their "boyfriends" to escape an abusive home environment, but in the new place things actually got worse.
Maybe you can find state housing options, in my country sometimes people with psichiatric issues get to live in apartments where they also receive support from social workers who help them with daily tasks and even find them jobs. It ain't great as you may have to share your apartment with others and there isn't much freedom, but at least you can safely leave your parents' home. I don't know if your country provides this though.1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (13004)
• Italy
22 Apr
@dya80dya Sorry you don't have such option in Romania, I wonder if your brother can host you at his place if you need to. Maybe there are also more job opportunities where he lives.
@dya80dya (33642)
•
22 Apr
I am too hard on myself, this is what my therapist told to me. Unfortunately, I live in Romania and we don't have these housing options. I found some men who wanted me to live with them and they promised me things. They even tried to send me money, but I refused.
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (6049)
• India
20 Apr
There was a saying we become what we hate the most! Also, there two set of people- who break their cycle and who loops in the same cycle!
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36500)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Apr
I agree that abused people become abusers a lot of times.
1 person likes this
@ogbenishyna (2994)
•
21 Apr
That is the sad reality of it. Being abused often bring psychological damages to victims and cause them to act in similar manner.
1 person likes this
