What I am thankful for (2005)
December 2, 2006 8:01pm CST
This was my thanksgiving testimony for 2005. We are all to write our testimonies about what we are thankful for since November of last year. Well, my journey didn’t start last year. It started at the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth. God new me and all of you before we were even conceived. Firstly, I’d like to say that there aren’t enough words in any language on Earth that can describe to you how I feel about what I have learned over the last 10 months in or outside of the lessons or books that I have been through or read. And if I was to tell someone face to face it would take several life times to tell everything that I have been shown or taught. I know that when I set my mind to do something I will accomplish my task. I made it a point to ask for dependability in my life. Jesus is dependable. God is dependable. Why can’t I be dependable? And I am because of God! 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NLT) states, “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead……he rescued us and will rescue us again” I know in my heart that I have been chosen for something special. Though I don’t know what I’ll be doing. I have faith in God that he is giving me the best of what he has for me. Jesus chose twelve disciples to follow him and to teach them everything they needed to know before he was crucified. They needed to learn discipline, learn to believe, to listen, to follow leadership, learn to lead others, and many more things. And I have learned that I must learn everything that Jesus’ twelve learned and more. I am living my life as God planned. And like everyone of you, I am not perfect. Only Jesus is perfect. God made me as I am because he has a special job for me. I lived a hard life, but God wants me to use what I went through to help others that have lived as I did. As a child I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused by my dad. I had no friends except the alcohol that I consumed and the smokes that kept me sane at that moment. My anger was beyond control, but I always found a release some how. But, I have learned that no matter what happened to me as a child or even as an adult that God is always with me. God will fight my battles as long as I let Him take control. This is the association aspect of what Jesus did with his disciples. He never left them, even when he sent them out into the world to make disciples and spread the Good News. Jesus’ time spent with his disciples meant that even Jesus himself had very little time alone. This was a way for Jesus to keep his disciples on their toes. They were always learning. I can in some ways relate to the non privacy issues, I have three children. I have problems just like anyone else, but I have learned that I must carry my own cross. I can’t expect someone to carry it for me. To follow Jesus I must be responsible for my own actions and take my problems to the cross every day! I must also help those in need if it God’s will and not mine. God will put people in your path but it’s the Holy Spirit that helps guide you. It is however your choice to follow what you are told or shown to do. There is just so much to touch on with what I have learned that there isn’t enough paper in the world to write it all down. I have also learned that I must obey God! This is the biggest problem that I have because of how I grew up. I always took what I got, but I never dealt with it. I never knew that all I had to do was to lay it at God’s feet and he’d clean it up for me as long as I didn’t pick it back up. And I am still learning that. That is a never ending lesson that will affect you for life if you let it continue. I have a lot that I must do before I can just say ok now it’s time for me to do this or that. I have to remember that it is God’s time that I need to go by, not my own. My job is to spread God’s word and to bring souls to know Jesus. I must make disciples and teach them and be responsible for every one of them. If one of Jesus’ disciples had fallen before he was betrayed how many people would that have effected? The Bible would probably say something else today. This is why Satan always loses in the end. He may tear my body to shreds but he will never get my soul. I still at times get down in the dumps and start pouting about my life, but it my responsibility to wake up and smell the roses. Those around me see what I do and if they are witness to these bouts of depression than that can affect their attitude toward God. Possibly making people think that God isn’t there all the time. But it is my responsibility to show my family that God is the only way, even if I can’t show them God himself. This is demonstration. I must show them how to live to win them to Christ. I must pray every day, all the time in fact, to achieve God’s goal. I am thankful for Sheryl for calling me that last day in November last year. I prayed the whole month of November that Sheryl would call me because I wanted to go to Cell and church. I had lost her number and anyone that knew her didn’t know it either. So, I did something I hadn’t done in a long time….I prayed that God would let her call me. And she did. My first cell was December 1st, 2004. I came to Northwood December 5th, 2004 and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It’s almost one year and I’m now just finishing up Discovery 2. Thank you to all of you that have prayed for me and over me all this time, and thank you Jesus! I wouldn’t be standing here today if it wasn’t for you.