jokes

very good

Home remedies 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegies by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with your signigicant other about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of Exlax, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your big toe with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

4+4 =44

good one.

Don't Kick the Animals, Man A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

Hee hee thats funny lol. And true ha ha ha

How fast can a woman make love? 68 miles an hour. If she goes 69, she blows a rod.

What are three words you dread the most while making love? Honey, I'm home.