Is the term "TOXIC TWEEN" meaningful?

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We have ALL been there right? Between the ages of 10 and 12 when we think that we are "old enough" and we should be called "teenagers". With the attitude that I have been hearing, I think TOXIC is right. We will call her "Ms. Know-It-All-A-Little-Too-Early" :) She is the oldest of the 4 children and MAN she INSISTS on being "mom". SHE wants to make the rules, SHE wants to punish when something goes wrong, SHE wants to pick and choose meals. I have to keep reminding myself that her body is going through a LOT of changes right now and it's very overwhelming for her wee little brain. Granted, I love it when she picks out the meals because that means that she either cooks or cleans up that night. But the disciplining the other children has GOT to stop. Any comments on how to deal with this age? Her being a female makes it harder to deal with, I think.