I have a Close freind who was in Iraq? need help

iraq bring them home - please
@merlin22 (1111)
United States
December 5, 2006 10:32am CST
my husband and i have been friends with then since we were stationed in hawaii togather,he cam back from iraq with alot of problems,he had to do alot of things that were against his morals(like running over children) to keep from being blown up,and the pics he showed us are horriable,he needs help but slow to get it,their marriage is suffering,she was left here to care for the kids for almost 2 yrs while he was there,now it seems they are in two different worlds now,they both call us wanting to talk about the other one,what do we do?we love them both
1 person likes this
4 responses
@mfrancq (1808)
• United States
6 Dec 06
I think the best thing that you can do is to be there for both of them as much as you can be. That is what friends do for each other. I know this must be really hard on him, I can't even begin to imagine what that was like. This must be hard on the marriage too, like you said. And I know it puts you in a rough spot because you care for both of them. This is a really tough situation and I wish I could offer more advice for you. Best wishes!
1 person likes this
@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
6 Dec 06
thats what we are trying to do is be there for them ,thanks for sharing your advice every little bit can only help thanks again
@binky22 (33)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. THE ONLY ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS THAT HE CAN ONLY HELP HIMSELF IF HE WANTS TO. HE HAS TO WANT IT AND KNOW HE NEEDS IT BEFORE HE CAN GET IT. MY HUSBAND HAD PROBLEMS BEFORE HE WENT TO IRAQ AND HE HAD TO DO THE SAME THINGS AS YOUR FRIEND. HE CAME HOME WITH UPSETTING AND UNBELIEVABLE PICS AND VIDEOS. WE ARE CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE AND HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFE IS A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. BUT IN MY OPINION FROM GOING THROUGH IT MYSELF IS THAT HE WILL ONLY GET HELP ONCE HE SEES HE NEEDS IT AND DECIDES HE WANTS IT. MY HUSBAND TELLS ME I NEED HELP BECAUSE HE HASNT REALIZED HOW MUCH THAT YEAR TOUR IN IRAQ AFFECTED HIM. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND THEM. I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT. BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"!!!!!
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@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
6 Dec 06
im sorry to hear abot that for you also,thanks for sharing that with me,im just hoping they will be alright, its hard to be in the middle with them.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Be there for both of them. Tell them that you'll listen but you will not be put on the spot to take sides. He needs to get help. She has to undertand some of the things he has been through. He needs her and everyone else to help him through it. I would listen but I would not suggest to either one to give up. Just let them know that you are there and willing to support them. If he is having trouble getting help, maybe they would be able to get a visit with a pastor. Maybe he could give both of them direction. I'm not a real religious person. I don't go to church, but I have had conversations with the pastor of my parents church. It does help.
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@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
5 Dec 06
thats pretty much what we do ,i keep telling them it will get better just got to stick with it,but it is so hard to listen to both sides knowing what the other is saying.they both have been thru so much with this war ,i dont think hell ever get over what he saw and had to do,and its tearing her apart knowing it
@aprilsue00 (1992)
• United States
5 Dec 06
War is tough on a person. Have you recommended counseling. The military will pay for it.
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@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
5 Dec 06
yea and milatary councling sucks,we were in for ten yrs and they are real good about just telling then they did it for their country,he is now going thru a church,but its not helping the home life, i really want to help them,they are our childrens god parents ,like i said we have been real close for yrs.