Does anyone have an opinion on whether or not an HIV+ woman should have children
By lauriefnp
@lauriefnp (5111)
United States
December 7, 2006 9:49pm CST
Years ago, you wouldn't find anyone (not even someone who treated HIV) who would do anything but discourage an HIV+ woman from having children, regardless of her overall health or the HIV status of her partner.
As we have learned more and gotten so much better at treating this disease, more and more women are deciding to have children.
How do you feel about this?
5 responses
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
10 Dec 06
I know of one lady who found out she was HIV+ when she was pregnant with her last child. Luckily he didnt have it. That is a very serious disease and can be past on to others so easy if your not careful. I am pretty sure the child would be born with HIV if the virus is in full force at the time. I would definately go by what the doctor says before doing this. I definately feel if it is going to be passed on to the child a person that could be classified as a good mother wouldnt want to take the chance.
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
13 Dec 06
I have never known anyone to be able to have a partner with HIV and be intiment and not infect them with it. How did you two accomplish this? I am happy that you were able to have a child and the child was not infected. That is wonderful. I guess I can understand that part but I still dont understand how your husband can keep from getting it. If I offended you in any way I am very sorry.
1 person likes this
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you for your information. I didnt know that they did it that way. Between the both of you you have given me more knowledge.
1 person likes this
@richelle19_80 (133)
• United States
12 Dec 06
I am a GREAT MOTHER! And I did have a baby. And he is not infected. See previous post.
1 person likes this
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
8 Dec 06
I still say that until we can actually *cure* HIV, it's too risky to have a baby if you're positive. The odds of the baby also being HIV positive is staggering, not to mention the strain on an HIV suffering mother is enormous. I feel it's too much of a risk, and that if an HIV positive woman truly wants a child, she should look into adoption. If she has a husband/life partner who is healthy and they're financially stable, I feel that would be the best course of action.
Why bring a very, very unhealthy child into the world? I'd like to think all mothers would want the longest, fullest life for their child.
@richelle19_80 (133)
• United States
12 Dec 06
YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT THE RISK TO THE BABY. Without treatment the risk is approx. 30%, with treatment the risk is less than 2%. I am infected. My husband is not. Our son is 5 months, healthy and NOT HIV positive. By the way, I have been infected since birth...I am 26 now, healthy, and love life. Even if my son fell into that 2% he could still have had a good life and I would not regret having him. At the clinic where I live, they have delivered over 380 babies to mother who are HIV positive. NOT ONE BABY has become infected. Does this change your mind?
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Thank you, Richelle. I started another discussion on this topic today because I wanted to include a picture of my GodDaughter, who is the baby of 2 HIV positive parents.
@charlesming (1865)
• Singapore
9 Feb 07
I personally feel both husband and wife should talk about it and decide. Let no one else decide for you. It will be the baby of the 2 parents, not anyone else.
Talk about it, weigh the consequences, pros and cons. The mother may want to have a child but the father may not. So that will be a problem.I am sure well trained physicians and counselors are on hand to provide accurate facts and information that will lead to a final decision, hopefully a unanimous one by both parents too.
1 person likes this
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
11 Feb 07
You are so right that the baby should be planned and the choice should be agreed on by both parents. This is, of course, especially true in the case of couples where one partner is positive and the other is negative.
I have written a few articles about this subject on my blog: http://www.focusonlivingwellwithhivaids.blogspot.com
My 1 year old Goddaughter, who is my HEART, is the child of 2 of my former patients, both of whom are HIV positive. The baby (Zaria) is HIV NEGATIVE and is the happiest, healthiest baby around. As a matter of fact, I may be "expecting" another GodChild soon- she will find out tomorrow. I'm so excited!!! I'm posting a picture of Zaria when she was a baby- I still haven't uploaded more recent pictures.
@richelle19_80 (133)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Yes a woman with HIV should have children if she chooses. There are many precautions to take that will diminsh the risk to the baby to less than 2%. These include taking certain medications, having a c-section, and proper prenatal care. Like any person the choice to have a baby is very personal and she be left to the mother.
1 person likes this
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
13 Dec 06
Richelle: Your son is very lucky to have you as a mom. He will most likely grow up to be educated and non-judgemental.
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Both are good points. As for risking the child, the risk of transmitting HIV is less than 2%, which is actually less than the risk of passing along some genetic diseases to children- take sickle-cell anemia for example. But women still decide to take the risk and have children. The maternal instinct is strong. Even if the child is born HIV+, they have a very good chance of living a long and productive life with the treatments that are now available. It has to be a personal decision, I guess.
As far as the mother's life being at risk: We expect that people who are HIV infected will live almost a normal life-span. Being HIV+ does not necessarily mean that you will die early. There are no guarantees in this life. A mom could die of any number of illnesses or even an accident, leaving a child to grow up without a mother.
