Breakup with a boyfriend...needs ur opinion

Philippines
December 8, 2006 8:26pm CST
I know that we went all thru the stages of breaking apart on a relationship.Now i have this friend of mine who just recently broke up with his bf.But still they constantly met online...tho most of the time they dont message with each other since their breakup, but they dont delete or ignore each other either... I was once been told that its better not to communicate with the person at all to really forget the whole mess and start a new rather than be in contact with the person so one could move on...do u think that break-up would work if still in contact with the person?
74 responses
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
i think it's not about the communication of the two if the break up will work or not, it think it is in the amount of love they have for each other... if one doesn't love him/her anymore, then the break up might work but if one loves him/her sufficient enough, eventually they may end up being together again. a matter of communication is also one way of starting a friendship after the break up and i believe lovers can be good friends after they were separated
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
what if being friends it wud just complicate things? they wud be reminded of the hurt they feel for each other?
@fffdile (421)
• Italy
9 Dec 06
I agree at all, the first thing to see is if these 2 persons love each other anymore, if yes, they can also delete their online contact, but they won't really break up.
@clavinee (119)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
It depends on how you feel for the guy after the break up. If seeing him around or online bothers you, better not communicate or delete his name on your list. It may be hard at first, but the real thing is you're moving on... Be firm!
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
geeee... thnx...i'l keep that in mind, m gonna tell my friend about that
@exodus (16)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
every broken relationship has its reason, and if both of you didnt love each other after the break, it's not a big issue for anyone of the two to communicate or see each other because no one is left behind. both of you doesnt feel any pain. if any of the two might find another, still, there's no effect on the part of the other. But if your boyfriend or girlfriend left you in the climax of your love, you better stay away or dont communicate with that person. he or she cant help you anymore.
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
yeah ok... thnx!
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
I think the most effective way to forget somebody is by not communicating with him/her... Coz if you continue on communicating with each other its just like having a simple hope of getting back together. But if you wish to totally forget him.her and move on with your life its better not to communicate anymore.
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
thanx! indeed for me u got a point too.
@harshiii (139)
• India
9 Dec 06
what i think is being in contact is not bad but u should nt exceed your limits..jus take him as an acquaintance..but dont meet him often.just maintain a decent level of relation.this would be possible if u dont have grudges both the ways..
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
thnx! i appreciate your comment.
• India
9 Dec 06
she should stop being in contact with or else she will not be able to forget him .
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
move on and forget... ok thnx!
• United States
9 Dec 06
I believe if you truly want to end it with someone you really shouldnt communicate at first because it will make it harder but eventualy if you want to stay friends then later you could communicate after you have gotten over it.I have done that before with one of my ex.and we are still just only friends.
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
thank u. u have given me a splendid idea
@alienstar (5140)
• India
9 Dec 06
Are they really broke their friendship....i don't think so.. It can blossom again as you siad they keep communicating withh each other.It shoes the real bonding between the two people.They might be caring for each other still, but not ready to reveal to each other that easily.So, it might time again to start all over again.....or else, if they want to be seperate, better to stop everything at once since they were lovers first remember....
@Krysha (48)
• United States
9 Dec 06
I'd agree that maybe they just need some time apart and keeping that communcating going is helping in some way to keep a line open. Your friend or the x will have to eventually decide if they can keep this going. I'd say let it be and let them make the decision.
• Canada
10 Dec 06
Does this not have to do with what each of the people wants to come out of this situation? Do they want to remain friends? Do they want time off from each other? Do they hate each other's guts but just want to be polite and not remove the other from their buddy lists?;) Sometimes relationships break up because it is emotionally or physically healthier for one or both of the people involved, and in those cases it IS probably better for them to cease contact. That distance would be necessary for healing. But sometimes people break up because, even though they are good people, they just do not match on a romantic level. In these cases, maybe they can continue on to be good friends. I've had both experiences upon ending a relationship. Sometimes distance is the absolute best thing that can happen. I have exes that I will never see again, and that's the best situation. But I also have former boyfriends who are now among my best friends, and I am so happy things have worked out that way! We were ment to be long-term friends, but not long-term partners. Anyway, that's definitely more than 2 cents on the issue. I hope your friend and his ex find the balance that works best for them. He's lucky to have a caring friend like you.:) ~Wyrdsister
• Anguilla
10 Dec 06
it depend on the reason for your breakup. Some people break up on good terms just because they just cannot get along as a couple or they have different goal but they are really good on being a friend
• Philippines
10 Dec 06
I think they are still in love with each other because they still communicate maybe they just ended the relationship because it is getting not good for both of them. But as you have said they still communicate they are better of as friends. I think it is also good to when you become friends after a relationship rather than as enemies.
• United States
10 Dec 06
It just depends, you can always become friends. But if it was a really bad relationship that needed to end i suggest leaving it for good.
@Mickey76 (78)
• Romania
9 Dec 06
If there a strong reasons to break up then it will certanly work. If not - why do you want to break up? I think that to be in contact with your ex is a mature attitude.
@atticus (1381)
• Italy
9 Dec 06
i'm not the right person to give some advices,i'm still trying to quit a mess 10 years old...
@dmanuel (411)
9 Dec 06
that depends. When you and your bf broke up was it a mutual decision, no hurt feelings? or you broke up because he wanted to and you were just proud to beg him not to? if it's the second reason, then i don't think it would be healthy to get in touch with the person for the first stage of moving on. you have to start picking up the pieces first. And when you feel you are strong enough to face him or chat with him, then go on. but if you still have some hatred in your heart, just don't talk to him. why? because in the middle of your converation all the pain and sadness will be reflected in your words and actions and in the end, it will make you look pathetic.
@clavinee (119)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
It depends on how you feel for the guy after the break up. If seeing him around or online bothers you, better not communicate or delete his name on your list. It may be hard at first, but the real thing is you are really moving on. Be firm!
• India
9 Dec 06
Its near to impossible to break-up wen u keep seeing the same person u wanna break up with....U just tend to get soft on them as u keep seeing them e'day...This could be a remedy for peopl who don't want to break up,but their partners are forcing a break up...!!! :P
• United States
9 Dec 06
it depends on you and the ex if you both realise that its not working and make a clean break some times it works. most of the time it dosen t you have to make a clean break from their family and their friends most of the time in less they were your friends first
• Canada
9 Dec 06
well breaking up yur b/f can be hurt the first week or so but after awhile yu should get over him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
9 Dec 06
I think that they should just move on...because there could be more problems if they keep talking...they should just move on and get on with thier respective lives...