do you hope for something bad towards people who have hurt you most?

@maryannemax (12172)
Sweden
December 10, 2006 6:48pm CST
i once had this relationship with my ex boyfriend. i loved him with all my heart not knowing that he's also having an affair with my very best friend. upon knowing this, i flamed up to anger. i broke up with my ex and i never made friends again with my bestfriend. i don't know exactly what happened to them. but i never left bad hopes for them even if i was deeply hurt.
10 people like this
17 responses
@sjohnson628 (3197)
• United States
6 Mar 07
I did wish bad things once on someone. This was when my husband left me for another woman. I won't go into detail because I have learned not to keep your friends close and your enemies closer!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
I can see why you did feel that way. It's really difficult to cope with a situation wherein somebody who matters leaves us in favor of someone else.
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
6 Mar 07
Hi, this response comes a bit late but so relevant to me. This is because recently I have been so hurt again by a family member and I just didn't know how to handle it. When I am hurt by people close to me, like family members and friends, I usually will direct my anger towards myself, meaning I will do something bad to myself. I used to smoke more, cut myself or overdose on pills to find some relief from the pain I felt inside. I don't hope for anything bad to happen to these people although I hope they will realise what harm they have done to me and reflect on it. Even now, although I do not do those self-destructing things to myself, I still lapse into depression and it takes time for me to get back to 'normal'. My hope is in the fact that God knows and will avenge me in His own way one day.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
7 Mar 07
I can understand you...we blame ourselves when people very close hurt us...but it is not right...you have to find the will to love yourself more and start evaluating things for what they are no matter who is involved...you are not supposed to take all the blame with you..it is possible, believe me....I succeded!!
@toonatoons (3740)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
it's tempting, indeed, to think of evil things to happen to people you despise, but i think the more effective approach would be to pray for them. sometimes, through prayers, amazing things can happen.
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
6 Mar 07
Actually NO - because I would like to think that I am better than the people that has hurt me in the past, and belive me - I have been burned a few times, not just by bf, but also by familymembers. I do belive that we will all get what we deserve somewhere in life, and therefor it is better to be a good person than a bad one =)
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6346)
• Bahrain
6 Mar 07
well that's good that you didn't harbor any bad feelings, cuz bad feelings only tend to consume the host. Plus i think when it comes to exes, the best revenge is living well, looking good and feeling great. I've never hoped for anything bad to happen to anyone, but then, i've never been that deeply hurt by anyone either, but it think even if i were i wouldn't keep any grudges or wish anything bad for them, time heals all wounds. But that was real cold, what happened to you, but that's real mature, the way you think and feel about that incident, kudos to you!!!!
@kgwat70 (13396)
• United States
3 Mar 07
I never hope for something bad to happen to people that have hurt me or hurt me the most. Even when me and my exgirlfriend broke up, I did not wish her any harm or anything and hope that she is doing well and happily married. I just take it that things happen for a reason and that I should just move on and forget about it. We just need to learn to drop things and go on living and not hold things against people.
1 person likes this
@adidas7878 (2013)
• United States
3 Mar 07
not really, i just feel disppointed when that happend, i am not that king of person to wish bad thing on someone, unless they piss me off and want to hurt me physicaly, i never really into fighting anymore, not that i cant, i dont wish bad thing on people
1 person likes this
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
27 Feb 07
i try very hard not to have ill thoughts of people who hurt me. instead i pray for myself, that my hurt feelings would disappear. i entrust things to God coz i believe He'll not only fight the battle for me but is the right and just vindicator.
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
7 Mar 07
I have had very bad experiences in ly life so far....unfortunately i have had...but I must admit that I am not one of those people who can think about revenge or happen to hope bad things for people who hurt me so deeply..now that I am recovering from some bad experience, now that time has passed and I can make a balance I can truly say that I only hope to forget everything about people who were so bad with me...I hope to reach indifference...only indifference will help me not to suffer anymore...therefore I don't pray for something happening to them...I pray for me and for peace coming into my heart and cancelling everything, even the littlest thought of these people...indifference will be my victory against them if I can reach it and it will be my true "revenge"
@shmeedia (1045)
• Canada
11 Mar 07
indifference, yes that is they key!! my ex did horrible things to me, and in the end, his fun was knowing i was hurting and that he was the cause of it. so i soldiered through my pain and eventually was able to say 'look, i'm not angry with you. i do feel sorry for such apathetic excuse for a man, but i don't hate you'. well, this made him SO ANGRY, because he was not able to get to me, to keep hurting me. the more indifference i showed towards him, the angrier he got. for me this was probably the most satisfying thing. that he was suffering from his own stupidity. i never DID anything to hurt or anger him, he just GOT angry when his ploys failed because i was the stronger person. indifference can hurt a lot more than hate. hate shows passion, it shows that somewhere you have feelings for this person, even if they are negative feelings. being able to attribute no importance to them will not only let you move on and forget the nasty things they did to you, but will also annoy that person very much lol. i say the sweetest revenge comes wihtout lifting a finger. the victimizer will one day be victimized out of his/her own carelessness and bitteness.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
21 Mar 07
that ais a very sad story maryann but i do not think of revenge or hope that somthing bad happens to any of those people even if the story is tragic like the example you gave here i just pitty them and move one with my life my moto is: do not waste any energy on those people they are not worth it and i also believe the the wheel is turning so somplace somwhere somthing will happen to them that will teach them a lesson..
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
20 Mar 07
When one gets really angry it's natural to think of ill things to happen to those who did the hurting. Sometimes we curse and even plan for a detailed revenge on the perpetrator. Through the years I've learned that it's no use getting back at them because what I would do will only bounce back to me in the end, as I belive in Karma. I just surrender all my hurts to God and I know in His time He will take care of them. No need to get my hands all dirty.
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
What a best friend you've got there. Personally, I can't think of any appropriate word to suit her kind. Anyway, by the way you sound here, I can surmise that you have already fully recovered from the incident.
@god_spear (498)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
Im a kind and loving person if someone did me something wrong, i leave it to god he can do whatever he wants to do to people who done wrong. Yes i experienced also to have a girlfriend and i loved her very much theni found out that she having an affair with a lesbian, it hurt so much, but i cant get angry since i love her. well i think its part of life. I did not think of something bad to haapened to her i just wish her goodluck
@wmg2006 (5386)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Yes when I am first hurt I do wish a lot of bad things on that person. After awhile I get over it and no longer wish anything at all on that person. It is hard to get past that hurt and anger.
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
things happend for a reason and if it didnt happen for you, you wouldnt met the guy whom you are with today. as for me it happened and it seems my heart wa torn apart and i just wanna have my revenge and keep on ask the question of all the people why my bestfriend, but i guess its something that i should not ask since God do work in mysterious ways and i cant question that if thats GOD's will....
@hottie0728 (1732)
• United States
11 Mar 07
I don't hope for bad things to happen to someone who caused me pain. I believe that there is karma and it will cross their way even if I didn't pray for it. Somehow I try to revenge a little so I know that I get even and they would know how it felt to get hurt.
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
When your in the state of anger you really wanted to wish for something bad will happen to those who cause you heartaches?.but do you think after you done it will make you happy?.I dont think so, it will only bring you guilt.Stop thinking about it okey.:)