My jokes...
By may4ever
@may4ever (4)
Malaysia
December 12, 2006 6:35pm CST
I like this one....
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday.
He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results.
On his way home he stops at a news stand and buys a paper.
Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you
don't mind me asking this, how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonald's for lunch, and asks the
order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh
you look about 29".
"I am actually 47". This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going.
But when I was young there was a sure way of telling
a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with
your balls for ten minutes, I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell
and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "Ok, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! how did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds."
26 responses
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
28 Dec 06
What's the difference between a married man and a
bachelor?
A) One kisses the Mrs and the other misses the kisses
@whitematter (501)
• India
26 Dec 06
lol, enjoy thsi now
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
@sameera786 (650)
• South Africa
13 Dec 06
Chinese Adam & Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake
@vipul20044 (5794)
• India
13 Dec 06
Here goes one do tell me if you like it
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
@nirmalgold (295)
• India
13 Dec 06
Hey you really made me to laugh with that joke . My friends used to create many kind of jokes like that and that too during the class hours. It will be a really thrilling experience to laugh without being noticed by our teacher. But now no teacher no thrill but same happiness. ALl the best keep posting jokes like this. Gud luck..
@sameera786 (650)
• South Africa
13 Dec 06
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when
Wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when
Both are pregnant.
@tanujarneja (2829)
• India
13 Dec 06
hahahahahaha.......nice jokes......left me with a pain in stomach...laughed so much
@HimArticles (1137)
• India
13 Dec 06
Really very funny, Here is for you please tell me which one is best?
1 A Sunday school teacher asked a little boy, Ramesh, Where is God?
In the bathroom of my house, replied Ramesh
Why do you say that? Inquired the shocked teacher.
Because every morning my dad pounds on the door and says, My God are you still there?
2 The girl asked her lover, “Darling if we get engaged will you give me a ring?
Sure, replied the lover,” What’s your telephone number?”
@harikumar21 (64)
• India
13 Dec 06
A friend of mine learned from the PBS channel how to protect her child by pretending to have a broken wing
@deepakb1982 (169)
•
13 Dec 06
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
haaa... haaa... haaa..., that was really funny... thanks for sharing the jokes with us... that is really a good one...
@ozangel82 (753)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
May4ever, that was a good one! Thanks for the laugh, very funny!
