Joke of the Day
By azhrael
@azhrael (75)
Philippines
December 13, 2006 4:29pm CST
This will be my regular post guys, so do check it out everyday. I'll be posting the best jokes (IMO) that I can find. :D
***First Date***
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: 'My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.'
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: 'Do you like spinach?' She says 'No,' and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, 'Do you have a brother?' Again, the girl says 'No' and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: 'If you had a brother, would he like spinach?'
4 people like this
10 responses
@whitematter (501)
• India
23 Dec 06
hey really nice one, this one is for you
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
2 people like this
@totomon78 (393)
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
wahhh...they both deserve a good smack on the head har har har
@michaelvanx (568)
• Malaysia
29 Dec 06
Wishes
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother.
Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF *** There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear:
"Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.
At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the co pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!"
:D
dotmyspot.com
1 person likes this
@SUNFLWRLUVR (143)
• United States
21 Jan 07
the was funny, and i never heard it, we can share these right!!!
keep 'em rolling
lol
@gokhale (97)
• United Arab Emirates
9 Feb 08
Conversation between NRI husband and wife.
Dear Sweetheart "I can't send salary this month , so
sending 100 kisses" Husband
Dear " Thanks for your 100 kisses. Sending expenses
details.Milkman agreed for 2 kisses , House owner is
coming everyday and taking 3 kisses insted of rent,
Supermarket man did not accept kisses so I gave
him...., Other items 40 kisses.Don't worry I have
remaining balance of 35 kisses.Hope I can complete
the month using this balance" Wife
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
29 Dec 06
Memo to all students:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any other school. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course,
please
see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturer are especially skilled at seeing that
you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS ( D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. ). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING ( E.A.T. S.H.I.T. ). Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before
they
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full
of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T. , you may be interested in a job
teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (
B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. ). For students who are intending to
pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATIONAL ( M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E S.H.I.T. . If
you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( H.O.T. S.H.I.T. )
Thank you
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
( B.I.G S.H.I.T. )
