How do you handle unkindness that is done to you by family

United States
December 14, 2006 6:15pm CST
My family still can't get over the fact that I didn't keep my unruly niece..One membe of my family told me I should get a blood test to see if I belong to anyone in the family.. I never had so much sorrow at Christmas time and afte having spent all my resources and given all I could give to help my niece.. I suppose if I would disappear they would not even care..please pray for me..as I find it hard to understand why I am receiving such treatment from my family.
7 people like this
43 responses
@pvleroux (607)
15 Dec 06
I feel sorry for you man, blood is thicker than water though. I hope things work out for you. Keep on loving them and pray for them.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I will never stop loving them..but they have told me not to email or call so I will not..I place them in the loving hands of God..
1 person likes this
@pvleroux (607)
15 Dec 06
Good for you and God bless
1 person likes this
@clickerz (472)
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
Just believe in yourself and if ever,Prove yourself that youre worthy to the family.Show love to them and whoever you meet in the family.Be kind to them even they are not.Be yourself and be honest in all your dealings,all will come smoothly. Cheers! Be happy and Enjoy!
2 people like this
• United States
16 Dec 06
I shall try to be a light and example..I have never been one to hold grudges.. Have you?
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
15 Dec 06
If they couldn't keep her in line either than that's a bit hypocritical is it not? it seems they've made you the scapegoat and I think it's awful the way they're treating you, if anything it should be YOU that's mad at them!
2 people like this
• United States
16 Dec 06
I agree with you ..but what am I to do..they are stil my family..I can't take my heart out and say I am not hurt..I cannot become angry with them..I love them..I am hurt!
• United States
15 Dec 06
You should ask god to forgive you first and them pray for your family and your niece.You did what you could for her and that's all you can do.And as for your family they will come around and soon realize that you did the right thing.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Forgive me for what..for not being able to keep my niece for me.. I guess i should have been a better person..but I am who I am.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
How sad to feel abandoned by your loved ones, especially at this time of year. My question is how can they treat you so harshly when they did not step up to help your niece themselves?
• United States
15 Dec 06
I simply don't know..I figure it is their way of solvin the problem by blaming someone else for all their problems.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (103964)
• United States
15 Dec 06
If i remember correctly, you said before that they could not help her either, so I hope you do not feel badly about that. It is Christmas, find someone who appreciates your generosity, participate in community services for the needy and lonely. Family is more than blood ties. It is ties of caring as well.
• United States
15 Dec 06
I thought that perhaps these feelngs would disappear by now..I think it is Satan that is causin such awful things at this holy time.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Dec 06
i think one should think intellectualy rather than emotionaly. the fault is with your family members not with you. you mustnt care to hear them. if u r doing right it doesnt matters who tell you nething.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Love doesnt recall any wounds..In an instant I would speak to them if they would me..I love all them very much..that is why it hurts for those things to have happened. Joy
• United States
15 Dec 06
i dont speak to my family anymore sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
yes..you are right..it's a painful reality.
@rms2727 (815)
• India
15 Dec 06
dont take things too seriously, it will pass away in a few days. at the same time you can try and explain your situation and make tehm realize that you have done a fair job. try to discuss things on a lighter note to avoid the problem from escalating further.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
No one will talk to me there and have asked me not to email or call...so I will respect that..
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
My sentiments are with you. Keep praying and dont loose hope. Time heal all wounds.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Thank you for your support..I am gaining strength...from all the kind words and prayers..
@Ilyasgul (881)
• Pakistan
15 Dec 06
sad to hear you family behaviour with you.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
me too..but I am going to try to move on..with the support of so many friends here..it's hard to be sad ..
• India
15 Dec 06
i feel Sorry you are going through all of this. It sounds like they are just feeling guilty because they don't want to or can't deal with her. Rather than face that, they blame you. I said a prayer for you. God will watch over you and the situation. He takes care of his children.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I agree..but that is the family God has given me..I have decided to move on and let them be as they are..God has given me a new family in the friends I have made here and in my neighborhood and church family..thanks for your prayers and support!
@ThulsZ (784)
• India
15 Dec 06
i'll beat everyone in the family with a stick and cry alone in my room
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
now that is a little drastic..beating everyone with a stick is not the answer..I am sure..I find there are many ways to handle this..but not with a stick:(
@shob2201 (620)
• India
15 Dec 06
I do not feel anyone's family members would ever think bad of him/her. Talk to them and find out what's the problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I hate to say this, but you don't live in the real world, Family can feel this way..Even Jesus said "one's owns enemies would be members of their own houseold, those who ate bread with them"
• Nigeria
15 Dec 06
i just want to let you know that i will be praying for me
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Prayer is the only answer sometimes, and I appreciate prayers very much..so please, don't stop sending them to Heaven in my regard..Thanks:)+
@telulas (459)
• Indonesia
15 Dec 06
i pray you kindness to be done with your family
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I pray for my family daily..I have no longer control over the situation..I have placed it in God's hands.
@edelweiss (1929)
• India
15 Dec 06
You see the problem is not that others are not satisfied with what you did for your niece, it looks like to me so aren't you. You are trying to get appreciation and approval from others for the kindness you have shown. Answer it your self. Have you done enough?
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I have done all I can ..the door is now shut on their side..so let it be: I asked how others would handle it..and shared my incident to see how "you" would handle it..I think people are forgettin to put themselves in the situation in their answer..I am getting along now..how about you..what would do if it was you?
• China
15 Dec 06
You can get through it. Have ever heard that : You can't choose your relatives thank god we can choose our friends. I think not all family are great, even some family could break down for money or something.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Money is my family's greatest downfall..There are lots of other things that are pulling them down..but money seems to be a big issue with them..+
@shaheena (35)
• Pakistan
15 Dec 06
if they are not caring for you let them do whatever they are doing and dont meet them becuse you will get hapiness from other rather then spending time with you family members and not getting any thing in return, you should build relationship with others they will be more help full.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
Yes Friends sometimes are more family then family. ..Thank God that I do have friends.+
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
15 Dec 06
family - great nice family
why should you be the one responsible for your niece's needs at the first place? and if so, atleast, they should be grateful that you do take care of your niece even she's hard headed. you also have a life to live and you deserve to do what it is that you wanna do without carrying so much niece's responsibilities. talk to your family about your problem. make them understand. and if they really can't understand your feelings, then make them understand more. they will understand you sometime in life. but i hope not too late though. good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
The idea situation is to have them understand..I have been told not to email or call them..so if this is so..how can I make them understand..I will be asking God to help me in this..as this is somethin probably He will be able to solve.+