How do i get my husband to stop procrastinating! He totally drives me crazy....

United States
December 15, 2006 11:26am CST
You would think after all thse years he would learn! I swear i'm just going to recoed my voice and play it so i don't have to keep repeating myself. Why would it take someone 6 moths to put a shelp up? I know he said he's getting to it and i guess it's my fault for not asking "Does getting to it have a specific date?" I mean it took him 4 years to hang my flag pole outside and with the last storm 2 months ago he still hasn't put the brackets back up,i guess i could hang my christmas flag in July! My sons are getting to be the same way, i've talked and pleaded with him to stop that we have to set an example for the boys,that kids look up to their parents and will try to do the same. But you know what his answer is "Don't do as i do,do as i say!" So now the dirty socks and shirts sit on the floor,i won't pick them up. Does anyone else have the same problem and how did you fix it or him,please let me know!
8 people like this
51 responses
@lvhughes (545)
• United States
15 Dec 06
i cant say i have an answer for you. my husband is the same way. with us 6 months is a short time. my vehicel broke down on the way to the hospital to have our son. he is now 2 1/2 years old. the van still dont run. and is still on jack stands. so i do hope you get the cure for this proble and please share it with me.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Dec 06
OK! Wow, You have been putting up with this for the last 13 years when I was living there too. Did you really think it was going to get any better? LOL. They are mean/boys. You know it goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe my brothers need some real discipline.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Dec 06
It's been my experience that it's one of those things that us wives must live with. Nagging just makes them take longer. If you have a son or nephew, ask them to do it for you, that may possibly make your husband get it in gear once in a while, then again it may not. It's worth a shot.
• United States
15 Dec 06
Psst...as the stepmom of 4 boys, they are never going to pick up their socks...they are more likely to help fix something than to pick up their socks.
1 person likes this
@Ambur25 (1007)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Lol, I think every woman in America has had or still has this problem. I used to, but I fixed it. ;] See... my husband, like most husbands, is a little on the stubborn side. Meaning, he'd hate to see me doing something he was supposed to do. I guess it's a pride thing? Anyways. If I asked my husband to do something, and it doesn't get done for hours, days, weeks, whatever, I would start to do it myself. He'd ask, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to put up my flag pole." Odds are he'll come out to help, and you can slowly step away! =P As far as the boys and dirty socks on the floor. Leave them there! When they have to wear stinky socks to school because the dirty ones didn't make it to the hamper, maybe they'll think twice about leaving them there! As a wife and mother, that's my motto... "If it's not in the hamper, I don't wash it!"
• United States
15 Dec 06
Wow pretty soon you will teach them how to do thier own laundry and dishes and sewing too .....oppps I might have got them in trouble hehehee men and women are all the same. I like the way you get things done!
• United States
15 Dec 06
As the wife of a procrastinater I sympathize with you. What I have figured out is we can't sit around forever and wait on them to do stuff for us. Where there is a will there is a way and if you do it your self it will be the way you want it, not the fastest easiest way they can think to do it. Not to mention all the arguments you won't have to have anymore. I am sorry I can't help you change your husband (or mine) but all we can do is change ourselves. As far as your children go I believe twe are setting an example for them and by you being independant and head strong they will at least see one good example instead of two bad ones. Hope this helps
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
I completely agree with you. You have to change if you want to get things done your way. We cannot sit and change everyone around us. Its just not possible. If you try to you will get frustrated. You do as much as you can so that your children will learn from you and just let go...so that you will be mentally at peace.
1 person likes this
@vipul20044 (5801)
• India
15 Dec 06
Well, looks like he is too ignorant to believe that whatever he does is wrong When things arent in your hands, and when words fail its time to take action Just do the work you told him to by yourself Set an example and then taunt him that you did it better than he would Maybe he would get an essence of shame then
1 person likes this
@rubypatson (1845)
• India
15 Dec 06
I have no such problem as anything unfinished as my husband never does anything at all, he justs works and comes home thats all he ever does
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Ms Fixit - woman taking control and getting the things done that a guy procrastinates and it may be the better choice over fussing at the hubby.
WOW, you have made my day. My hubby too is a bit on the slow side of having things get done. We have been married 23 yrs and though we never had to get things done, since we have property now it is a struggle to get anything done. We have children and so the three of us minus the hubby try to do most things. Fussing does get old and the reward for good behavior technique does not always work especially as they get older. We should start a support group..one of those did in a large town near here, now the ladies work on each others homes. When you want it done right hire a woman!
@mkup30 (495)
• United States
15 Dec 06
oh geez that's a major problem, maybe take him to a counselor for some discipline training, cuz that's what it is - lack of discipline..i dont understand if he know's it makes u so upset why wont he stop and change?
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 06
unfinished - room that is unfinished project started my a man
If you figure out how to fix it let me know. I have you beat. My husband took out a picture window that lead into a porch and made it into an extra room. well this was five years ago and the frame of the door isn't finished and part of my living room wall isn't done. Ten years ago he built my salon. Well... he also made a laundry room at the same time and I still have open walls with no sheet rock up. I have tried and tried. It's never going to get finished unless I do it myself. Funny how some men are.
@Thoroughrob (11772)
• United States
17 Dec 06
Yes, my husband is always putting things off. I'm getting to it, is always his answer. The kids re now tryg that approach, There is no way. My husband is working a lot of overtime, but it is still frustrating sometimes. He could pick up his own popcans before there is 12 on his table. Don't know how to fix i.
@chukwudi (1100)
• Nigeria
16 Dec 06
he is the lazy type so you will keep remainding him to wake up from his slumber
@beckyomg1 (6763)
• United States
16 Dec 06
i think all men are like that. my husband is a contractor, but guess what i have many things that need to be fixed around my house and mine is the last to ever be done. i think it is a gene built in.
• India
16 Dec 06
hard work pays later......laziness pays NOW
@caribe (2465)
• United States
16 Dec 06
It is difficult, if not impossible to change the procrastinator. It probably would take less energy and would be less nerve-racking to either do it yourself or get someone else to help you. It isn't something he is doing because he wants to be mean, it is kind of an illness.
• United States
16 Dec 06
My friend had this same problem. The advise she received worked like a charm. Her advisor told her to ask her husband POLITELY to do a task once and then NEVER nag about it again. He hears what you say. Treat him with respect and he'll do the same for you. When you ask over and over it bugs him and he dosen't want to do it. Marriage is a partnership, dont try to be the boss. Another word of advise; without complaining or saying a word, start doing the tasks you expect him to be doing. When he sees that your serious about getting them done, hopefully he'll realize that he's not living up to his role in the family. As far as the sons go, my mom had this problem with me. I didn't pick up my clothes before I left for school everyday. So after I left she started picking them up, and everything that she had to pick up got taken away from me. She said she was taking it to Goodwill. It didn't get to that point though, because I start picking up my things.
• India
16 Dec 06
thats good you are doing, keep that protest on.. and dont respond show apathy for his requests..
@hjalte81 (46)
• Denmark
16 Dec 06
Get him to listen to some Tony Robbins, he makes a big deal out of stopping procrastination... It helped me alot. I also had a big problem with it some time ago. But not any more :-)
• United Arab Emirates
16 Dec 06
Go to your friends house for a week. Dont call home. After 1 week call n say tht you are not coming back.
@register (1065)
• India
16 Dec 06
procrastination - it's in our genes ( except for a very few gifted ones ) The only way one can stop procrastinating is by being self aware of the responsibilities he/she holds and catalyzing the need to do the work right now.