A new take on some old nursery rhymes
December 16, 2006 8:05pm CST
Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered;And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little b*st*rd. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pie man, "What have you got there?" Said the Pie man unto Simon, "Pies, you dumb #$%!" HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men. Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast. HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock. GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry. And when the boys came out to play, He kissed them too 'cause he was gay. There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad..... She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
4 Feb 07
At least these are funny. Here in Australia they are changing some nursery rhymes because they are politically incorrect! So no more Baa Baa Black Sheep, but Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. Rainbow sheep? Otherwise it's Baa Baa Green Sheep. Green sheep? I don't get it - the sheep is black. It's not racist - it's a statement of fact. Crazy, isn't it?
• United States
26 Jan 07
Mary had a little sheep and with this sheep she went to sleep the sheep turned out to be a ram and Mary had a little lamb Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your tummy grow, ask Tommy Tucker that MF (what would rhyme with Tucker) he should know There are some cute ones out there that's for sure. Just have to know who to ask or where to look