Rekindling a Friendship

United States
December 16, 2006 10:13pm CST
Have you ever rekindled a close friendship after a major falling out? Has it worked out? Have you ever gotten to be close again or just acquaintances that say hi in email now and again. Did you ever try to rekindle a friendship and the other person was cordial but didn't stay in touch? Have you gotten in touch (maybe through Classmates.com or something) with a long-ago childhood or high school friend? How did that work (or didn't)? I realize that over the last 10 years I've touched base with a lot of long-lost friends (some that ended badly and some that just drifted apart or was from childhood/high school) with a variety of results and was wondering if this was happening in other people's lives.
11 people like this
35 responses
• United States
17 Dec 06
Yes. I had a really close friend and she & my husband didn't get along. She didn't think I should be with him so when it came time for our wedding he said I couldn't invite her. Well it wasn't pretty. She sent some nasty letters & so did we *childish we realized & stopped. Then a couple years later we rekindled. But some of the things she had lied about in those letters were too much and I ended the friendship. I still miss her sometimes, but it has to be this way.
1 person likes this
@suedarr (2385)
• Canada
17 Dec 06
Last year I had a falling out with a friend and was unsure if it could be resolved. After about 6 months we got back in touch, first through email and then by phone. We decided to set some ground rules for our friendship and so far it has worked out.
1 person likes this
@tara2126 (38)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I have gotten in touch with a bunch of people through either Classmates or Myspace. Most of them are acquaintances at best now. However, my best friend now is someone I went to high school with, she moved & then I saw her again on Classmates. We've been best friends now for a few years & are MUCH closer than we were in high school.
@froogle (776)
18 Dec 06
yes. very much.. there was a very close friend of mine will clas 4. after which his family moved to another city. a few months back, i found him on one of the friends networking site. was jumping with joy! internet rocks!
@sevenseas (754)
• United States
18 Dec 06
I think this all depends on the love you shared before the fall-out. Some people come in and out of your life and you really aren't any better or worse with or without them. Then there are the people who helped shape your life or fill up the lonely spots, and for those people, you need to extend grace, love, and appreciation. If someone is VALUABLE to you, then you need to appreciate their value and let all the other stuff go.
• United States
18 Dec 06
i have lost touch with all of my friends from school.we all went our seperate ways.i recently got a message from 1 of my old friends on myspace.com so we've been communicating threw that now
@3Dlace (339)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I also have rekindled many old friendships, some of them didn't work out as I thought they wouuld. Some people that were once really close to me were a bit jealous and have done some rotten things recently to destroy my now happiness, the ones who are my closest friends were the ones who I rarely talked to in high school. They have been blessings in my life and I am very glad that they (and myself) have matured after high school. Hope this is helpful:)
• Kuwait
17 Dec 06
i did that and it happened long time ago, yes it worked out but never will be the same, for me when the clear water is mixed to any substance it will never be a clear water again, but since we are friends long time ago and we been friends since we are small then its a law to setle things,we are still catching up to our sorry's and patching things.
@deanac24 (23)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I had a huge falling out with my best friend about 6 years ago. It was over my then husband. She hated him and thought he was wrong for me. Turned out she was write and now we are the best of friends again.
@babykay (2133)
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
I had a friend all the way through high school and about 6 years after we left, we had a major falling out. She threw me out of the house we were sharing! We haven't spoken since. I've had lots of time to reflect on it all and I reckon she was way out of line. Having said that I was in some ways. If I saw her now I would of course say hi and be polite. However our paths haven't crossed in 7 years - mainly because she lives on a different continent. I wouldn't bother to go find her or seek her out - way too much water under the bridge and while I forgive her for the argument we had, at the time, the other housemate told her that if she did that to him, ie threw him out of the house, he would never speak to her again. So I think she had very little respect for me at that time, I wouldn't make any effort with her. To be honest, she was an extremely shallow person and someone who I was friends with out of habit. She was also adopted and her birth mother didn't want to meet her so she was quite upset about that - at the time I didn't see it that way! I am sure we will bump into each other at some stage but I don't really care if we never do.
• India
17 Dec 06
Ya i have re-kindled and helped in the re-union of many friends through a community called orkut!! We meet many friends there each day and get to chat there frequently! Making new friends and meeting old friends is really fun!
@vipul20044 (5800)
• India
17 Dec 06
I know, i know myself as a person and am not good at all at keeping in touch with people There are times when i bump upon them but then it is pretty formal There isnt a feeling in me for rekindling friendship as you say and i really feel miserable in such situations!
@emisle (3824)
• Ireland
17 Dec 06
I fell out with a friend, than a few years later we started talking again, but now we're not speaking again and although i miss her, she was not a great friend and I know i am better off without her.
17 Dec 06
Who hasnt? I mean yesterday my friend kicked my head in, now were best buddies.
• India
17 Dec 06
yeah it has happen to me yaar i got rekindle with my friend who was my class mate in my kindergarden and when i joined in my bachelor course i saw a man in my front bench which i seemed to know him very well and when i enquired from him i got to knew he was my old frnd
@maryannemax (12176)
• Sweden
17 Dec 06
my highschool bestfriend had a secret affair with my boyfriend. i broke up with my boyfriend and never made friends with my bestfriend anymore until now. when i was in college, my bestfriends did me wrong. i was hurt and so, i look for someone elses' company who accepted me fully. they got mad at me and wanted me back. we argued! and yes, we tried to rekindle the friendship. but it's never the same. there's this gap between us that we can no longer put back. so, i joined my new set of friends and still talks to the old friends. but not as much as we talked before having the fight. until now, (8 years later), whenever we meet, we talk awhile. but it will never be the same again.
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
i look back at all the friendships that i had with my life and sad to say, either i wasn't a good friend (makes me sound like a loser). i came from a broken home and never knew how to form good relationships (cos i didn't get good examples from home... blah blah blah). i had friends from grade-school to high-school to college that i never kept --- secretly, i think that if had i been a better person at that time, i'd still be seeing all of them. so now, i try to make up for it through my friends now. i have a couple of officemates that i knew from way back and we caught up - now we 3 have lunch and coffee together...and i've made other friendships as well and we hang out all the time. but i guess it's probably a whole different ball game had i stayed kept my friendships before.
• India
17 Dec 06
I have had major fallouts in some 4-5 instances but then it was only once when I felt that we could get back together and be good friends again. The other times I guess my mind was all made up and I never wanted to change my decision.
• India
17 Dec 06
my friend and i have been together ever since we were in school. we used to go together, and come together, sometimes even study to gether. i usedto stay back at her residence also sometimes. we also ehared a relationship in such a way that even our mothers studied in the same college. i always used to have trouble in adjustnig with her ways but most of the time i was patient enough to put up with most of her rot. one final day as we were walking back from college we had an argument and i just walked off on my own and never met for for many years. after that we got married and had children. i got her mail ID forwarded through one of my other frind and i sent her a mail. she responded on the affirmative and was soooooooooooo... taken aback. she was really so touched by my gesture that we continue to keep in touch even to this day. our friendship has blossomed and its great to see our children play together.all is well that ends well.
• India
17 Dec 06
may be it works..i can say ...as it worked for me.after a long time when i met with a freind even if we got apart worstly in life..sometimes..it works if we are once really a good freinds..when i met we get that kind o happiness in our hearts that can make us forget all past issues..