how to say NO ??
By mimpi
@mimpi1911 (25464)
India
December 20, 2006 6:14am CST
someone i know very well keeps asking for money, which he returns but not in time. many a times a have difficulty to lend off, still do that and cannot ask for it when i really require it. i just cannot ask for the money back ?? my friends blame me for it all and i know i an not assertive. i want to say NO but everytime he pleads i get mum.....
7 responses
@preetshweety (1046)
• India
31 Dec 06
To say 'NO'to someone we know well is really hard. But not impossible. coz nothing is IMPOSSIBLE. Dont give him time, i.e. I will tell u today or tom. Instead be practical, n tell all d situations. When u r sure u will not b able to ask back, dont lend money. Always b Practical in Life.
Wishes for New Year ahead.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
1 Jan 07
i really appreciate, i think it's better to say NO and be practical, instead of making up stories. i have started doing it already...it's working but tough though.
all the best and a very happy new year to u my friend
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
25 Dec 06
thanx for understanding me. and i will try and stick by your advice.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
20 Dec 06
i went through that experience a lot of times, too. i have friends who do not pay on time as promised. worst, i have friends who forget to pay at all. sometimes, i feel like i don't wanna lend money anymore. but when they come to me for help, this soft spot in my heart makes me feel guilty for not letting them borrow money from me. so, it usually ends up letting them borrow from me.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
21 Dec 06
even i get emotional the same way....it really hard to cope with.
but i think i got a very good advice from ASHIFLETT. she said instead of lending off we can motivate them to make legitimate money themselves. she said, 'if you give a man a fish, he will not go hungry for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, he will have that skill for a lifetime.'
thanx for sharing
@euniceeleanor (5967)
• Singapore
20 Dec 06
well, it will depend on whether do you need the money back urgently or not. if yes, then i will advise that the next time, he want to borrow money from you, just tell him that you are financially tight yourself, and not able to help him. If no, then just let him return the money to you when he got it, he may be late, but at least he did repay you back..helping a friend in need is a friend indeed :D
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
21 Dec 06
1 appreciate. but he is the parasite kind and does little effort to help himself out. i think, what ASHIFLETT said is right, i can convince him to do somthing so that he can earn the extra money himself instead of asking from friends. he is a wonderful guy with all abilities but very lazy and demotivated. i dont want to demoralise a friend, so i can counsel him to earn himself. ths would pay him off in the long run aswell.
thanx a lot dear.
@cr1st1nel (3564)
• Romania
23 Dec 06
You should explain him that you just simply have no money to lend or you don't like to borrow him some money. This are the answers i would give is somebody wants me to lend to it money. Good luck and much money all the time!
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
25 Dec 06
i appreciate. i am trying and learning to be outspoken and bold. truth is only one and it doesnot lead to complicacies.
thanx for sharing
@snowflake5 (1579)
• United States
20 Dec 06
Make up some story about how you are struggling financially - and be sure to tell him several times BEFORE he asks you for money. If he gets it into his head that you are struggling and haven't the cash to lend, he may not even ask anymore.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
21 Dec 06
i appreciate, but i am the kind of person who can't make up stories easily, even if i do , one can make out from my face. ...this ppl are headblocked or atleast pretend to be, so i don't think this would work.
some of my friends are dexterous enough and they handle their situations your way. but i am bit unsmart.
thanx a lot for sharing.
@ashiflett (1045)
• United States
20 Dec 06
At times, you simply must explain to people that you are financially unable to assist at this time. However, you could offer them advice on how to make a supplemental income on their own. There are many legitimate opportunities in which one may make extra money for things that they need. It is said that if you give a man a fish, he will not go hungry for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, he will have that skill for a lifetime.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
21 Dec 06
i really appreciate. yes, instead of avoiding and making false excuses i must explain it all...
thanx a lot for the advice.
