Why do you think people stay in no good relationships?

well i stayed in an abusive relationship for a number of years for a few reasons. #1 i didnt want to be alone. #2 thought the problems could be worked out/fixed if i just tried hard enough. #3 believed the abuse was my fault. (whether true or not many many women believe its their fault) #4 the expected embarrassment when ppl learned WHY i left him. a lot of married couples stay together for "the kids sake", but more often than not, the kids would be better off and happier if the parents would break up.

The reason lies in the patterns already learnt in their childhoods. It's our responsibility to find out our own patterns (usually destructive ones) that keep us falling into the same traps, almost cyclically. The more we become aware of the cycle, the more we can take small steps to 'move around' them, or devise new coping mechanisms to survive while we get a little less close to 'danger' points. All of us have some degree of 'extremism' in ourselves, not to the point where we kill and murder. Nevertheless, it is still painful. We need to be aware each time our patterns come up for us. Fear of being alone is a big issue. If that's the one someone is aware of that he/she has, (most of us have that), then, we need to ask ourselves what it is that is keeping us this way, ask questions, usually, this will resolve some of the anxiety over this fear. If we're living in a relatively safe environment, a healthy level of fear is fine, but, we're not exactly in Afghanistan, so, that kind of fear where we're at is a little unfounded. I give this as an eg, how anyone can cope with their fears.